Dating ex-tv

A dating-competition series spun off from 'The Real Housewives of Orange County,' featuring former housewife Jo De La Rosa searching for a love match by trying to connect with various suitors. One Night With My Ex’ is a bold and compelling new series in which former couples spend the night alone in a rigged luxury apartment and decide whether to get back together, or go their separate ways for good. When it ends, every relationship has unfinished business—things you wished you had asked, things you wish […] MTV's first-ever 'dating reality' series — 'Singled Out' — made its debut in 1995.That was *the* show that set the tone for a whole decade of amazingly awful dating reality shows. Originally airing on UK's Channel Five, the first episode was on Channel Nine last week, immediately after Married At First Sight.You can catch up on the first episode ahead of the second episode tonight on Nine Now.. Scoffing at the name and ready to change the channel, I watched for just 10 minutes. One of the first dating shows to embrace fluid sexuality, A Shot at Love filled a house with guys and girls—offering former TV personality (and current incredible tweeter) Tila Tequila the ... Using sophisticated dating technology, each participant has already been matched with their ideal other half in the house, and it's their job to uncover the mystery of their soul mate's identity. Back with the Ex's fanbase seems to agree on a lot of things: Cam and Kate were the best and Erik and Lauren were undoubtedly the season's worst.Originally, the two had broken up because Erik was controlling and abusive. Example: 'One year, he gave me a birthday card with a cheque for $10,000 and, in the envelope, there was a breast-augmentation brochure,' Lauren recalls on the show. Find out when Date My Ex: Jo & Slade is on TV, including Series 1-Episode 2: I Can't Believe I'm on a Dating Show. Episode guide, trailer, review, preview, cast list and where to stream it on ... Brittni De La Mora left the porn industry for a relationship with God. Brittni De La Mora may not be a name you recognize — but the now-31-year-old spent nearly a decade in the porn industry as ... Factors to Consider When Buying Dating My Ex Tv. What makes a good purchase? What does it take for you to pick the best dating my ex tv for yourself when you go out shopping for it? It is the detailed product analysis and research of this product. Yes, we know it because we have experienced the complete process.

Forever Alone, Together!

2010.09.15 02:09 noonches Forever Alone, Together!

A subreddit for Forever Alone. lonely depressed sad anxiety
[link]


2017.12.29 02:25 PM_PAINTED_GUY_TOES Male Crossdressers & Femguys Who Happen to Like Women

SFW. A "male lesbian" supposedly is a boy, man or male person who enjoys "crossdressing" and is attracted to women. This oxymoron term is most known from Eddie Izzard. Here you can find media of couples, advice, male makeovers, drag tutorials and other resources. Note: despite the sub's name implications, Bi and Asexual folks are equally welcome! ♥ Not supposed to be confused or conflated with a real lesbian identity nor transsexual (MTF) identity. ML is not an ID label, ignore the name please.
[link]


2020.09.28 19:43 Mafnas22 (SELLING) Added more codes for MA / Vudu / iTunes. 4K Men In Black Trilogy, Star Wars SAGA, Hannibal Series, 4K Mission Impossible 6-Movie, Game Of Thrones Series, plus collection sets! I have a $4 section and below list. New shipment of Disney codes added! Large list of 4Ks at bottom of list.

CURRENTLY UPDATING POST AT THE MOMENT
Prices are firm for single purchases
Venmo - CashApp - ppFF
Take a look at the bottom of listing for Terms Of Sale
Codes are verified again right before sending to you
ISO: Justice League vs Fatal Five. + Wonder Woman Bloodlines. — Nothing else, have every other DC Animated.
————————————— Star Wars COMPLETE SAGA 10-Movie Set for GooglePlay — These will PORT to all services if linked
All x10 films in HD for $40
1 Phantom Menace + 2 Attack Of The Clones + 3 Revenge Of The Sith + 4 New Hope + 5 Empire Strikes Back + 6 Return Of The Jedi + 7 Force Awakens + 8 Last Jedi + 9 Rise Of Skywalker + 10 Rogue One A Star Wars Story
Will ONLY separate 7-9 + Rogue One for $15
Will NOT separate 1-6
—————🔥 DEALS
Big Little Lies - FULL Season 1 - $3.50 V
Big Little Lies - FULL Season 1 - $3.50 i
Big Little Lies - FULL Season 1 - $3.50 GP
In loving memory of Chadwick Boseman
Black Panther - $2 GP (LOTS AVAILABLE)
Black Panther - $2 MA / iTunes (LOTS AVAILABLE)
Boardwalk Empire - Complete Series - $30 iTunes / $30 GP
Deadwood - Complete Series - $25 GP / $35 Vudu or $25 if you spend additional $25
Entourage - Complete Series - Season 1-8 - $40 GP
Game Of Thrones - Season 1-7 ONLY - $45 GP or FREE with any $70 purchase (Have given lots of these away already and still stocked up)
Hannibal - Complete Series - $15 Vudu
True Blood - Complete Series - $20 GP / $25 iTunes
Wire - Complete Series - ~~$25 GP / $30 Vudu / $30 iTunes or FREE with $50 purchase~~
———————————————— 4K Disney / Marvel / Pixar
Aladdin - 2019 - MA - $7
Aladdin - ANIMATED - MA $6
Avengers - Endgame - MA $5
Avengers - Infinity War - MA $5
Brave - MA $7
Call Of The Wild - MA $6
Captain Marvel - MA $6
Cars - MA $6
Frozen 1 - MA $5
Incredibles 2 - MA $6
Lion King - 2019 - MA $7
Lion King - ANIMATED - MA $7
Thor 1 - MA $9
Thor 2 - Dark World - MA $9
Thor 3 - Ragnarok - MA $7
——————————————— TV Shows
Chernobyl 5-Part Miniseries - V $9
Game Of Thrones - Seasons 1-7 ONLY - iTunes $50
Game Of Thrones - Complete Series - Vudu $55 / iTunes $55
Gotham - Season 1 - V $7
Outlander - Season 1 V1 + Season 1 V2 + Season 2 + Season 3 - V $35
Supernatural Season 10 - V $9
Supernatural Season 11 - V $9
Supernatural Season 12 - V $9
Supernatural Season 13 - V $9
Walking Dead - Season 7 - V $8
———————————————- Collection Sets
007 Daniel Craig 3-Movie - V $15
Batman 4-Film - Batman + Returns + Forever + And Robin - MA $17
Batman ANIMATED Series + BOTH Bonus Movies - $45
Die Hard 5-Movie - MA / Vudu $22
Hobbit 3-Movie - All x3 Extended films - MA $30
Hotel Transylvania 3-Movie - MA SDs $14
Insidious Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Last Key - MA SD $10
Leprechaun Collection - V $22
4K Men In Black TRILOGY - MA $35
4K Mission Impossible 6-Movie Collection - VUDU $30
4K Mission Impossible 6-Movie Collection - ITUNES $30
Open Season Trilogy - MA SD $14
Rick And Morty - Season 1-3 - V $25
Saw 8-Film - GP / V $22
Smurfs 3-Movie - MA $15
Spider-Man 4-Film - Homecoming + Far From Home + Into The Spider-Verse + Venom - MA $25
Tremors 6-Movie Collection - MA $40
Universal Monsters 6-Movie Collection - MA $25
———————————————- HDs / HDX — $5 EACH
Angry Birds Movie - MA
Annabelle 2 - Comes Home - MA $8
BlacKkKlansman - MA $7
Book Of Life - MA / V / i $6
Carrie - 2013 - V / GP
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 - MA
Crank 2 - High Voltage - i
Crazy Rich Asians - MA $8
Deadpool 2 - Super Duper Cut - MA / V / GP $6
Doom - Annihilation - MA $8
Dora And The Lost City Of Gold - V
Dr Seuss The Grinch - MA $8
Emoji Movie - MA
Equilibrium - GP $9
Ex Machina - V $7
Ferdinand - MA / V / GP $6
Game Night - MA $6
Geostorm - MA $7
Getaway - MA $6
Ghostbusters - Answer The Call - Extended - MA
Glass - MA $6
Good Boys - MA $7
Halloween - 2018 - MA
Hereditary - V $6
Hidden Figures - MA / V / GP
Hobbit 1 - An Unexpected Journey - EX - MA $9
Hobbit 2 - Desolation Of Smaug - EX - MA $9
Hobbit 3 - Battle Of The Five Armies - EX - MA $9
Home Alone 2 - Lost In New York - MA / i / V / GP $5
House With A Clock In Its Walls - MA $6
Jumanji 1 - Welcome To The Jungle - MA
Jurassic Park 1 - MA
Jurassic Park 2 - Lost World - MA
Jurassic Park 3 - MA
Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom - PART 5 - MA
Just Mercy - MA $8
Justice League - Doom - MA
Justice League - Throne Of Atlantis - MA $7
Justice League vs Teen Titans - MA $7
Kick-Ass 2 - V
Kick-Ass 2 - i $7
King Kong - Ultimate Edition - MA
Kung-Fu Panda 3 - MA
LEGO Ninjago Movie - MA
Les Miserables - MA
Max 1 - MA
Maze Runner 3 - Death Cure - MA / V / GP
Murder On The Orient Express - MA
Nun - MA $8
Other Side Of The Door - MA $8
Pitch Perfect 3 - MA
Possession Of Hannah Grace - MA $7
Queen And Slim - MA $7
Ready Player One - MA
Searching - MA $8
Shape Of Water - MA $7
Slender Man - MA
Smallfoot - MA $6
Smurfs - Lost Village - MA
Sorry To Bother You - MA $7
Superman Unbound - MA
Teen Titans Go! To The Movies - MA $7
Teen Titans - Judas Contract - MA $7
Terminator 4 - Salvation - MA $6
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - MA / V / GP
Truth Or Dare? - MA
Turbo - MA
Turning - 2020 - MA $8
Uncle Drew - GP / V $6
Us - MA
Winchester - V / i $6
Yesterday - MA $8
—————————————— HDs / HDX — $4 EACH
300 Rise Of An Empire - MA
5th Wave - V
A Good Day To Die Hard - Extended - MA / V
Crawl - V
Divergent 1 - V
Divergent 2 - Insurgent - V
First Purge - MA
Gallows 1 - MA
Get Smart - MA
Gods Of Egypt - V
Hunger Games - Catching Fire - V
Hunger Games - Mockingjay 2 - V
Hunger Games - Mockingjay 2 - GP
Huntsman - Winter’s War - Extended - MA
Last Witch Hunter - V
Legend Of Hercules - V
Magnificent Seven - V
Man Of Steel - MA
Pain And Gain - i
Passengers - MA
Rio 2 - MA
Rise Of The Guardians - MA
Top Gun - V
Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets - MA
Widows - 2018 - MA
———————————————— HDs / HDX — $3.50 EACH (SDs are stated)
Action Point - i
Adventures Of Tintin - i ?
Alpha - MA SD
American Sniper - MA
Arrival - V
Arthur Christmas - MA SD
Call Me By Your Name - MA SD
Captain Underpants - First Epic Movie - MA
Chappie - MA SD
Cowboys And Aliens - i ?
Despicable Me 1 - V
Despicable Me 3 - V
Dredd - V
Due Date - i ?
Equalizer 2 - MA SD
Fences - V
Fate Of The Furious - Extended P8 - MA
Fury - MA SD
G.I. Joe 2 - Retaliation - V
Hercules - 2014 - rock - V
Hugo - V
Hugo - i
John Wick - V
Jonah Hex - i ?
Jurassic World - PART 4 - V
Noah - i
Pitch Perfect 1 - V
Rings - i
Roman J Israel, Esq - MA SD
Sicario 2 - Day Of Soldado - MA SD
Slender Man - MA SD
Spider-Man - Homecoming - MA
Star Trek 2 - Beyond - V
Star Trek 3 - Into Darkness - V
Taken 2 - MA / V / GP
Terminator 5 - Dark Fate - V
Terminator 4 - Genisys - V
Warm Bodies - GP / V
Wrath Of The Titans - MA
————————————————- HDs / HDX — $3 EACH
007 Skyfall - V
All Star Superman - i ?
Annihilation - V
Argo - MA
Bad Grandpa - i
Bangkok Dangerous - i ?
Bumblebee - i
Daddy’s Home 2 - V
Dark Knight Rises - PART 3 - MA
Deepwater Horizon - V
Expendables 2 - V
Fast And Furious 4 - i ?
Fast Five - Extended - V
Fast Five - Extended - i
Fast And Furious 6 - Extended - V
Fate Of The Furious - Theatrical P8 - V
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - i ?
Ghost In The Shell - 2017 - V
Girl On The Train - V
Heaven Is For Real - MA SD
Instant Family - V
Interview - MA SD
Jack Reacher 2 - Never Go Back - V
Jurassic World - PART 4 - V / MA
Magic Mike 1 - MA
Mission Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol - V
Mission Impossible 5 - Rogue Nation - V
Mission Impossible 6 - Fallout - V
Mummy - 2017 - tom cruise - V
Overlord - V
Paul - i ?
Perfect Guy - MA SD
Pet Sematary - 2019 - V
Playing With Fire - V
Red 2 - V
Resident Evil - Final Chapter - MA SD
Rocketman - V
Sausage Party - MA SD
Secret Life Of Pets 1 - V
Serenity - 2005 - V
Sherlock Gnomes - V
Sing - V
Split - V
SpongeBob Movie - Sponge Out Of Water - V
SpongeBob Movie - Sponge Out Of Water - i
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - 2014 - V
Ted 2 - Unrated? - i
Transformers 3 - Dark Of The Moon - V
Transformers 4 - Age Of Extinction - V
Transformers 5 - Last Knight - V
Twilight - Breaking Dawn 2 - V
Walk - 2015 - MA SD
Warcraft - MA
Wonder Park - V
XXX - Return Of Xander Cage - V
——————————————— Disney / Marvel / Pixar — ALL TITLES ARE HD. Link your MoviesAnywhere account to GooglePlay account and movies will migrate. DMI points may be available for MA. Feel free to try to redeem points.
iTunes HDs have chance of FREE upgrades once 4K is available - No guarantee, just going off how they currently do it for other HD titles
101 Dalmations - MA / iTunes $8
Adventures Of Ichabod And Mr Toad - GP $5
Aladdin - 2019 - GP $5
Aladdin - 2019 - MA / iTunes $5
Aladdin - ANIMATED - GP $3
Aladdin - ANIMATED - MA / iTunes $5
Aladdin 2 - GP $9
Aladdin 3 - GP $9
Ant-Man - GP $6
Ant-Man And The Wasp - GP $6
Avengers 1 - MA / iTunes $6
Avengers - Age Of Ultron - MA / iTunes $6
Avengers - Endgame - GP $3
Avengers - Endgame - MA / iTunes $3
Avengers - Infinity War - GP $3
Avengers - Infinity War - MA / iTunes $3
Bambi 2 - GP $6
Beauty And The Beast - 2017 - GP $4
Beauty And The Beast - 2017 - MA / iTunes $5
Beauty And The Beast - ANIMATED - GP $5
Big Hero 6 - GP $4
Big Hero 6 - MA / iTunes $4
Bolt - GP $9
Brave - GP $5
Call Of The Wild - GP $3
Call Of The Wild - MA / iTunes $4
Captain America Civil War - GP $4
Captain America Winter Soldier - GP $6
Captain Marvel - GP $3
Captain Marvel - MA / iTunes $4
Cars 1 - GP $4
Cars 2 - GP $4
Cars 3 - GP $4
Cars 3 - MA / iTunes $4
Cinderella - 2015 - GP $5
Cinderella 2 - MA / iTunes $8
Cinderella 3 - MA / iTunes $8
Coco - GP $6
Disney Nature - Born In China - GP $4
Doctor Strange - GP $4
Doctor Strange - MA / iTunes $4
Dumbo - 2019 - GP $5
Finding Nemo- GP $4
Finding Nemo - MA / iTunes $5
Finding Dory - GP $2
Finding Dory - MA / iTunes $3
Frozen - GP $3
Frozen - MA / iTunes $3
Frozen 2 - GP $6
Frozen 2 - MA / iTunes $6
Good Dinosaur - GP $5
Guardians Of The Galaxy V1 - GP $5
Guardians Of The Galaxy V2 - GP $2
Guardians Of The Galaxy V2 - MA / iTunes $4
Hannah Montana - The Movie - Quality? iTunes $4 (stays in iTunes)
Hercules - ANIMATED - MA / iTunes $8
Incredibles 2 - GP $4
Incredibles 2 - MA / iTunes $5
Into The Woods - MA / iTunes $7
Iron Man 3 - GP $4
Iron Man 3 - MA / iTunes $5
Inside Out - GP $5
Jake And The Never Land Pirates - Peter Pan Returns! - Quality? iTunes $7 FULL MOVIE - Not available in iTunes, only the episode from the tv show is available. This is the full 2-hour movie. (Stays in iTunes)
Lady And The Tramp - GP $6
Lady And The Tramp - MA / iTunes $7
Lilo And Stitch 1 - MA / iTunes $10
Lilo And Stitch 2 - MA / iTunes $10
Lilo And Stitch 2 - GP $9
Lion King - 2019 - GP $4
Lion King - ANIMATED - GP $5
Little Mermaid - MA / iTunes $8
Little Mermaid 2 - Return To The Sea - GP $9
Little Mermaid 3 - Ariel’s Beginning - GP $9
Maleficent - GP $5
Mary Poppins Returns - GP $5
Moana - GP $4
Moana - MA / iTunes $5
Monsters University - GP $6
Nutcracker And The Four Realms - GP $5
Peter Pan 1 - GP $6
Peter Pan 2 - MA / iTunes $8
Pirates Of The Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales - GP $3
Planes - GP $5
Pocahontas 2 - MA / iTunes $8
Princess And The Frog - GP $6
Princess And The Frog - MA / iTunes $6
Queen Of Katwe - MA / iTunes $6
Ralph Breaks The Internet - GP $4
Robin Hood - ANIMATED - GP $4
Santa Clause Trilogy - GP $15
Sleeping Beauty - GP $5
Sleeping Beauty - MA / iTunes $6
Spies In Disguise - GP $5
Spies In Disguise - MA / iTunes $6
Super Buddies - GP $5
Tarzan - ANIMATED - GP $9
Thor 1 - GP - $6
Thor Dark World - GP $6
Thor - Ragnarok - GP $3
Thor - Ragnarok - MA / iTunes $5
Toy Story 1-4 - GP $20
Toy Story 1 - MA / iTunes $6
Toy Story 3 - GP $5
Toy Story 3 - MA / iTunes $6
Toy Story 4 - GP $5
Wrinkle In Time - GP $5
Zootopia - GP $4
————————————————- 4Ks — $4 EACH or MARKED PRICE
Addams Family - 2019 - i $8
Alvin And The Chipmunks - Road Chip - i $8
Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 - $20
Annihilation - i
A Quiet Place - i
Arrival - i $5
Battleship - i
Bumblebee - i $5
Crawl - i $5
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon - MA $7
Daddy’s Home 2 - i
Deadpool 1 - i $6
Deadpool 2 - Super Duper Cut - MA / V $9
Deepwater Horizon - i
Despicable Me 1 - i $5
Despicable Me 3 - i $5
Despicable Me 3 - V $5
Dora And The Lost City Of Gold - i $7
Dredd - i $7
Expendables 2 - i
Fantastic Four - 2015 - i $7
Fences - i $5
Ghostbusters - Answer The Call - Extended - MA $8
Ghost In The Shell - 2017 - i
G.I. Joe 2 - Retaliation - i $6
Girl On The Train - i
Gladiator - i $5
Hercules - 2014 - rock - i $5
Hidden Figures - i $7
Home Alone 1 - i $6
Hunger Games 1 - i
Independence Day 1 - i $9
Independence Day 2- Resurgence - i $7
Instant Family - i
Jack Reacher 2 - Never Go Back - i
John Wick 1 - i $6
Jumanji 1 - Welcome To The Jungle - MA $9
Justice League Dark - Apokolips War - MA $9
Kingsman 2 - Golden Circle - i $7
LEGO Movie - MA $6
Let’s Be Cops - i
Logan - i $5
Maze Runner 1 - i $6
Maze Runner 2 - Scorch Trials - i $6
Meg - MA $9
Mission Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol - i $4
Mission Impossible 5 - Rogue Nation - i $4
Mission Impossible 6 - Fallout - i $4
Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children - i $7
Mountain Between Us - i $5
Mummy - 2017 - tom cruise - i
Night At The Museum 3 - Secret Of The Tomb - i $5
Overlord - i $5
Pacific Rim 1 - MA $9
Peanuts Movie - i $6
Pet Sematary - 1989 - i
Pet Sematary - 2019 - i
Pitch Perfect 1 - i $6
Pitch Perfect 2 - i $6
Playing With Fire - i $5
Rampage - MA $9
Ready Player One - MA $9
Red 2 - i
Revenant - i $7
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes - i $7
Robin Hood - 2018 - i $7
Rocketman - i $5
Secret Life Of Pets 1 - i
Serenity - 2005 - i
Sherlock Gnomes - i
Sing - i
Sonic The Hedgehog - i $8
Spider-Man - Homecoming - MA $9
Split - i
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - 2014 - i
Terminator 5 - Dark Fate - i $5
Terminator 4 - Genisys - i $5
Terminator 2 - Judgement Day - MA $8
Transformers 3 - Dark Of The Moon - i $5
Transformers 4 - Age Of Extinction - i
Transformers 5 - Last Knight - i
Twilight - Breaking Dawn 2 - i
Ugly Dolls - i $7
Uncle Drew - i $6
Venom - MA $9
War For The Planet Of The Apes - i $5
Why Him? - i
Wonder Park - i
X-Men Apocalypse - i $6
X-Men Days Of Future Past - i $6
XXX - Return Of Xander Cage - i
—————————————————
May consider discounts for multiple purchases
All purchases are TRACKED. If buyer decides to redeem a portion that wasn’t agreed on, then I will ask to submit payment. If you do not wish to pay then I will contact the mods for further assistance. Then you will be blocked.
Everything Disney related are split
For PayPal, send via Friends Family. Codes are not sent unless agreed price is fully sent. I am NOT responsible for fees from PayPal
submitted by Mafnas22 to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 18:08 phione [Rewatch] Season 1, Episode 5: Dare Devil

It's getting cold out there and the leaves are changing. Time for a cozy GossipGirl S01E05 discussion. Directed by Jamie Babbit, this episode aired first aired in the US on October 17, 2007. Share all your thoughts on episode five here.
Synopsis from Wikipedia Dan makes elaborate plans to impress Serena on their first official date. The same night, Jenny is invited to the infamous Blair Waldorf sleepover and finds herself in a high-stakes game of "truth or dare". Meanwhile, when Lily discovers that Eric is missing from his treatment center, she finds herself seeking help from her ex-boyfriend, Rufus.
User flair contest Find the user flair comment below and reply with your favorite quote from the episode (64 characters or less). If your quote is one of the top 3 most upvoted by the time the next discussion post goes up then it will become a limited edition flair for the rewatchers, available for one week!
Winners from last week are
  1. Normally I wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot. - 16pts submitted by _cool_username_here_
  2. You might find a lowfat yogurt more appealing. - 6pts submitted by hahahahudkme
Where to watch
submitted by phione to GossipGirl [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 17:21 gigi_gigix Was it really narcissism?

*I posted this on the attachment theory subreddit, and they directed me here.*
I am anxiously attached, and know where I contributed in this relationship to its end (e.g. when I had an issue I voiced, I always took it back if I thought it would cause us to break up/said sorry too much, lack of trust etc).
I was only with him for 5 months, but it has really negatively affected me and I don't know where else to turn.
For context, the relationship was a (very short) distance relationship - we lived about 2 hours from each other. He is 28, and I am 24. When I met him he still lived with his mother, but was in the process of moving out. We used to book hotels and airbnbs until his flat was ready. In the last month of the relationship he moved to his flat.
Our relationship started off really lovely. He was extremely respectful and interested in me. Our first date was 15 hours long! We spoke about everything - we had lots in common and I feel a magnetic connection towards him. We went on day-long dates for about 4 weeks before we slept together. But he asked me to be his girlfriend before this happened, which I thought was quite unusual (not necessarily in a bad way).
The first "weird" thing I experienced with him was the day after we had become girlfriend and boyfriend he showed me a message he had sent to a girl when we were just starting speaking to each other. I don't remember why he did this or what we were talking about. It was basically a chat up line message. I remember being really upset and confused as to why he showed me it during a dinner date, esp hours after he asked to be together - and I cried (typical AA). This was mentioned during the breakup by him as "as soon as we had sex we started having problems" - wtf?
I noticed that on our dates he often spoke about quite heavy topics - his abusive childhood, some racist experiences he had had, depression. When he spoke about these things he (obviously) got really upset and cried. I found this to be quite unusual (again, no necessarily in a bad way), not because it was a man crying, but that it was so soon into meeting him. I think in the whole relationship I cried once - he cried at least 6 times.
He started saying I was his soulmate after 4 dates. He said he'd never felt like this about anyone before, that he was punching above his weight, that he couldn't believe I was interested in him and that I gave him butterflies. I was smitten with him, I honestly thought it was a match made in heaven - I genuinely thought we'd get married.
He also mentioned that I was the only girl he had dated in 5 years. He had one previous "long term" relationship when he was in his teens, but it lasted 6 months and he's now 28! He discussed their breakup once, and told me how he blocked her but she kept trying to get in touch with him still (after 11 years) and showed me messages from throwaway accounts on instagram where they were asking to meet up and talk. He said he'd never speak to her again. They split because she cheated.
He was kinda insecure, and that was clear from the beginning. If I complimented him (I liked his voice for example) he would say "what do you like about it?" or "what do you mean "nice" - can you say more please?". It felt kinda endearing at first. Then he started getting annoyed (dont know if thats the right word) if I said he was nice or kind to me - he'd say things like "nice guys finish last don't they?"
The biggest turning point in the relationship came after a weekend away. We had the best time ever. Really romantic cheesy stuff I'd never done before like holding hands over the table and looking into each others eyes. He asked what we'd call our kids. We stayed in bed most weekend just cuddling and watching films. I felt like everything was going well.
Then the week after, he didn't text me as much. He started talking about he pushes away people he loves and that when he's falling in love he will push that person away.
He had quite puritan views on sex. He often discussed "lust" and how it was bad, and that it ruined lives. He wouldn't speak about sex. When we had sex, he was really passionate and it was amazing - but afterwards, it felt like he moved away from me. At the beginning of the relationship we did have a lot of sex, but quite soon afterwards (maybe 4 months in) it dwindled and he would always get into bed before me and close himself off from me by facing outwards on his side right at the edge of the bed.
The morning after he said I made him feel guilty, he was relatively normal, and we had sex. The whole day was packed with things he needed to do though. The next day we had to get up at 7am, move all his furniture and then he had to go to his sports training again. Large parts of the day I spent on my own waiting for him to finish his task or hobby. I was pretending to be fine with this, but in all honesty I was a bit annoyed as I'd spent a lot of money coming to see him, and some of the things he was doing without me were avoidable (e.g. moving certain stuff on the day he knew i'd be there, even though he had a week off when I was going home).
The first time I showed extremely mild annoyance at waiting around (a huffy "fine" when he told me he'd be late) - he went ballistic calling me selfish, that I never thought of him, but he always put me first. He said I was always making him feel guilty, and I was just like his ex. I immediately apologised and said I was just tired and wanted to see him. He didn't mellow. He left me crying in the passenger seat and called his best friend and spoke about a TV show. We then drove in silence for 2 hours. When I asked if we were getting food he said no.
Eventually he rang me the next day and said he "needed time to evaluate" if he wanted to continue the relationship as I was clearly manipulative. After a few days we arrange to meet and he kinda just didn't speak about anything that happened. As soon as he saw me he gave me a massive hug and just held my hand and said "yeah I overreacted". When we spoke about it a bit more, he said he'd spoke to his friends about it and they had told him he overreacted.
He used to say he was jealous that I liked certain stuff on social media (e.g. male celebs) as it made him feel insecure - when I pointed out that I felt the same way when he liked women's pictures on instagram he went insane and ignored me for a week.
When he eventually spoke to me he said that it was undeniable that things weren't the same anymore, and that we always argued (we'd "argued" twice) he said he was waiting for his next competition (a week away) to talk to me about it because he needed to focus on it. So I left him a for a week - he'd basically asked me to. In that time he messaged me thanking me for the gifts I'd got him for his new house (ordered before all this happened) - I text back saying I missed him and hoped we could fix things. He didn't reply. When we eventually met up, he said that he couldn't get over the fact that I didn't wish him good luck for his competition. He said I was manipulative and made him feel bad. He also said I was clever with words and used words which were intentionally hurtful. He said he had told me things he'd told no one and that I couldn't be trusted.
I said I was confused, and that I was sorry that I had hurt him. I asked if he wanted to still speak, as I didn't see anything irreparable in the relationship itself (not romantically, but we could be friends - typical AA). He said "im not your manager". Throughout the whole conversation he faced outside the car window, arms crossed, practically pouting. When I asked why he wouldn't look at me he said "I feel more comfortable not to". He said he hadn't come to breakup with me, but seeing me hadn't made him feel better and he didn't expect that to happen,
He decided to end things. It hurt a bit more as it was just before my birthday. He messaged me the day before my birthday telling me he'd post my things via tracked post. Then on my birthday a soppy birthday message.
For about 3 months, we kept in touch with like 8 hour phone conversations, essays over messenger.
Meeting up after 2 months post-breakup, he told me he was considering therapy and that breaking up with me had broken him, that he stayed in bed for 3 weeks after he did it and had to have a welfare call to his house as his family were worried. He had been demoted in work because of staying off. He had confided in his friend that he needed psychological help. He also said he missed me, that it was "understatement of a lifetime" to say he couldn't stop missing me.
He also said things like it wasn't normal that he had confided in me about his childhood, and it wasn't a healthy bases of a relationship to share things like that with your partner (I think it is...) and that it should always be happy. I said I think on that bases, he might regret ending the relationship as that is what intimacy is. He said he'd never find someone as beautiful, kind, intelligent or funny as me and that he'd never found our connection again ... and that he'd constantly compare everything to us. He kept asking what my favourite memory of us was.
We met up twice in the 3 months after the breakup and slept together. Everytime we did that, he would pull away a bit with the messages, so in the end I told him we couldn't carry on like this.
He dragged everything up from the past, saying that the coffee shop incident was my fault, that I was manipulative etc. He also said he "didn't ask me to stay" at his flat, and it was my decision to do so. I said it was both our decisions to have sex, and that I felt a bit led on that he was adamant nothing would change with us, but he continued to message me and sleep with me. He said "that makes me feel like a shit person." I asked him exactly what he thought would happen - he said he was sure I was going to be the first one to date/get into a relationship again, and when they time came he would "step aside" for me to pursue that. I asked him whether I deserved the treatment he had shown me - he said 50% would say yes, 50% no. I hung up on him.
I then got blocked everywhere. Unblocked on Whatsapp a week later on Valentine's day to ask me if I can send his flat key back. I sent a courteous message about coronavirus in March, but not since.
I've been no contact 6 months now. I've blocked him back on Whatsapp.
I am confused as to why:
Is this narcissism? He was a highly insecure person, and I think his childhood affected him awfully. He didn't love himself (he called himself below average often).
submitted by gigi_gigix to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 16:52 themediocremrfox Looking to finally replace my consoles!

Build A PC
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Gaming/media machine, will be probably hooking it up to 4k TV for a while at first (don’t have room for a desk right now). Looking to replace my consoles. Mostly play games like Destiny, R6 Siege, Halo, and other FPS. Hoping to play WoW, Civ 6, and other PC games now too. Would love to have Blu-ray/4k Blu-ray capabilities if possible.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$1000
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
Within the next month or two, hoping to build before or around Black Friday to make the most of any deals
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Just the tower
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
Texas, US. I have a micro center about 2 hours away, so if the deal is good enough I can make it work.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
I’ll have an Xbox controller but that’s it.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Not sure, pretty new to PC gaming
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
I’d love an SSD
What type of network connectivity do you need? (Wired and/or WiFi) If WiFi is needed and you would like to find the fastest match for your wireless router, please list any specifics.
Wired
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
The ability to store tower horizontally would be great
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Yes
Extra info or particulars:
Thanks for your help! Looking forward to joining the club!
submitted by themediocremrfox to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 14:38 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (9/21/2020 to 9/27/2020)

What MOS’s are good for the 75th if you want to be a door kicker? Would 11x suffice?
What about 35F? Spoke with a recruiter who told that the option 40 contracts are limited and it is easier to just volunteer after AIT
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So I’m planning on taking the asvab but my recruiter is telling me I have to stay over at the hotel the night before the test because of new covid protocol procedure. Is he lying or telling the truth on this? I’ll be heading to Fort Hamilton for the test
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anyone been to sfas what workout or muscle should you have focused on first. my running is my priority at this moment and am focusing on more weightlifting strength after hopefully having made it through.
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I have MEPs on Friday and might be in need of a medical waiver. What can I expect?
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Hello all! My question is about enlisting 35W. I scored highly on both the ASVAB and DLAB, and my end goal is a Linguist role. I am asking because I’ve come to understand that 35W/M are in some sort of transition and I just want to make absolutely certain that I am going to be on the right path. Thank you so much, any and all insight or feedback is greatly appreciated!
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Are masks mandatory in basic training now during runs and rucking?
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I’m about to ship to BCT but I was wondering, with COVID going on, how do I go about getting some of my civilian clothes, my laptop, etc to me at AIT? Can my AD Navy friend bring them to me since he has base access or is that a no go in AIT?
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Also, can females use a mesh hair donut in boot camp, or are we only allowed bobby pins?
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Are there any AD 37Fs active on here? I'm strongly considering a 37X contract and I'd like to ask a few questions if you have the time.
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75th Ranger Question. What are the requirements to volunteer for the regiment as an 11A? I can’t find anything online. I’m hoping to commission within the next year and I’m assuming that you can’t graduate IBOLC and then go straight to volunteering for regiment; I can’t find any information on this though. I’m sure u/75thRangerRecruiter could help
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I was wondering what is the process in order to get into specialty schools in the army. I'm all about learning more and improving and I am really interested about mountain, jungle, and Arctic school. I want to attend all these before I hit up ranger school and then attend sfas. Anyone have any thoughtful opinions or insight on getting into these schools? Thank you
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Has Anyone transitioned from AD to guard to fly? Without being a pilot already
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As anyone been to the Battle Staff VTT course? If so, how is it with connections and talking to the instructors via computer?
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Has anybody ever tried getting skillport to work on an xbox? I want to be able to watch the videos on my TV.
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Anyone know if SF Group Support Battalions have slots for 2LTs? Is it possible to be assigned to a GSB as a loggie straight out of BOLC?
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Just got this text from my recruiter re: my packet when I asked for updates and said I had a lot of life paths hanging in the balance:
"I understand, unfortunately this is not a quick process. My best recommendation is go on with your current plans. Once we know if you are approved to even physical, and then pass the physical, that is good for 2 years so you have time to still take it into effect with your decision making process."
Am I fucked?
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Joining after a suicide attempt? long story short when i was 13 I was feeling real bad and tried to kill myself. I went to a mental hospital for 7 days. I had out patient care for a few months after and before. I was on antidepressants for less ~8 months (but never took them). I am 18 now and and very very interested in joining the military. I originally wanted to go navy but they dqed me full stop nothing they could do. I talked to my army recruiter and told him about my situation. He told me i should lie and not to worry about it. But i have scars on my arm from SH and the navy already has my full medical records. Should i be worried about the navy's records getting to the army? And should i go against my morals and lie to meps? Like i said i really have no other plans i didn't realize its was a automatic DQ even if you are better for multiple years.
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Who knows how to access Assignment Satisfaction Key from a personal computer? Ive been trying for like a week or so and keep gettinf "Err_connection reset". Any have a fix?
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Wanting to join after my husband getting out. My recruiter told me to lie and say I’ve never taken Antidepressants, because as long as it’s over 2 years ago I’ll be fine. But I was on Tricare when I was given them. Will I be okay as long as I say I never took any? Or can they get access to that.
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Prior service returning as an 11X e-5 here via OSUT. Do I get a PCS move when I arrive at my final duty station? I'll be in the barracks but still want my kitchenware, personal stuff, and to ship my car.
For guys in OSUT/Benning, when do you recommend bringing out my car, if at all?
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Ex Canadian infantry here. I'm looking to pick up a few green "Book, Memorandum" (NSN 7530-00-222-3521), been in love with them since I got my first one while on training the in US. Where can I buy a legit one online that has the classic, cloth, not plastic/paper, cover? Cheers.
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When does the ACFT take over as the test of record? I always thought it was 01OCT20, but I took it recently and one of the graders announced something about FY23. That’s so far away. Any idea what they could have been talking about?
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Hey all, I hope you're doing well! I was just wondering if some of you could clarify what my recruiter told me. I first asked my recruiter about 2 year active duty contracts and also asked him if it would be 2 years active with 6 years of IRR or if it would be 2 years active with 2 years in the Reserves and then 4 years of IRR. He said it was possible to make it 2 years with 6 years of IRR (which seemed too good to be true), but I went along with it. I was supposed to go to MEPS in the next few days, but thankfully another recruiter caught the mistake and informed me it was 2 years active with 2 years in the Reserves. After that, my recruiter offered a 3 year contract. However, the other recruiter clarified it was 3 years plus basic and AIT. Is that true or does the 3 years include both BCT and AIT? Thanks for the help!
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Hey, I'm an 11B with Delta 2/19 at Sand Hill rn. Just turned green a few days ago. I couldn't get an option 40 while enlisting because of a past surgery but my GE and PT scores are competitive for RASP. I heard Ranger recruiters may come around at some point asking for volunteers.
Anyone have any experience with this or know about what week that might happen? I heard because of Covid things are a little weird atm and they might not be as active recruiting guys out of basic atm.
Also general order number 5 is really twisting my nuts. So excited for general order 6.
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what was the funnest helicopter repairer mos im looking into that one and im not sure if i want apache or the chinook since you can ride in them
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I am currently a sophomore in college and I'm planning on enlisting in the Army at the end of my spring semester. I heard that I need to send in my spring class schedule to the army and pass all of the classes on the schedule in order to be accepted. Can anyone clarify this process for me? I'm having a little trouble understanding how and why this process needs to happen. Thank you in advance.
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How's life at airborne school right now?
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I'm currently an E-4 11b considering reclassing to EOD. I get out in a little over a year but I'm wondering if I'll have to reenlist/extend to reclass. I'd talk to my battalion career counselor but I'm quarantined for the next week. Thanks in advance.
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Social life in the army? I keep seeing posts about people being very lonely and unhappy. I'm thinking about enlisting,going great with the recruiter and i'm very excited about the job etc. However,i don't want to end up feeling like that,is this something i need to consider?
I'm very happy with myself,good mental stability and some other virtues so i'm not worried about ending up in a bad place.
I am worried i will end up with no one in my life. I have no family,some friends but they won't be around. And some that won't be friends after i join (i don't follow the lifestyle i was raised in and this is another thing that goes against some cultural expectations etc,was cut out of the community/family/friends) long story short,Can i count on the army to provide some opportunities for a social life/friendship or can i end up like some of these posts? Should i take this into consideration? Is this something i should be worried about?
Sorry about the stupid(?)question,it's just important to me.
(Edit: because i posted too soon)
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In the recruitment process ATM but recently my recruiter went back into the field. I didn't get a heads up about it and was in the process of having people send over some documents. Will my new recruiter be able to access documents sent over to the old recruiter's email address? Or should I just ask these folks to send to the new recruiter's email?
New recruiters answers to this question are pretty vague *shrug*
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Hey everyone, i’ve been really excited because I want to enlist next month. I’ve been thinking about it for a LONG time and would like to go through with it, however im really nervous about basic training. Mainly because I get the occasional headache, and while not diagnosed, im pretty sure I get migraines. I take excedrin migraine for them, but I don’t get them often. However, I know you can’t take any medicine with you to Basic. does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t want to get a migraine there and have to be sent home, but this is something I really want to do.
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I got recommended for a med a few months ago, and I have a P3 profile but I haven't been contacted by anyone since, is there someone I should call? I already sent my PCM a message just curious if there is anywhere else I could get some information.
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I'm an 11-X and my osut got pushed to October 1st has this happened to anyone else?
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I’m wanting to finish my degree in criminal justice. I have enough completed for an associates, and want to go for my bachelors. I’ve been told MP osut gives college credits towards criminal justice. Is this true?
Also what MOS would you recommend that gives enough “off time” in order to complete last two years of your bachelors. I’m really interested in MP since my degree is criminal justice, also the potential college credits which would help in getting my degree, but I’ve heard MPs have little time off. Any information and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Currently in the Army Reserve and put my paperwork in to go Active and reclass to Infantry. Will I be placed at the beginning of BCT again or will I start during the OSUT phase? As an E3 what will my experience be like? Do I have to shave my dome again?
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So I got out of RA a year ago now. I served “7 1/2 years”. I went into the reserves right after went to 5 drill weekends never got paid never got a chance to inprocess. I did everything they asked , January rolls around I ask them to go IRR the CO and Top had no issues with that. I fill out the paper work then, I leave my PSG sends me a message saying they can ETS me instead like I never was in the reserves. I agreed to it and I drove on. Everything is good for a few months I finally get a message from my PSG I need to sign the paper work again, after not hearing from anyone over there for months I do it and not worry about it. I get told a month later, I gotta check in with my PSG once a week to check the status of my packet. which I do no problem fast forward to August. I’m getting told to sign my NCOER even though, I only worked for them about 5 months so I’m hesitant about signing. A new PL gets mad and tells me I have to if not I’ll get demoted and a negative discharge and says I have all these U’s for Feb-July I should basically have my ass handed to me. so I was forced to sign and start attending their zoom meetings. I spoke to my PSG and 1sgt about everything and they just tell me okay then brush it off, it’s like I’m not being heard. I spoke to jag they said the only thing they can do is fix the pay issue. So my question is what should I do? What can I do I just want to be done with them?
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I graduated college with a BA in computer science. I got a job that had me sign a 2 year commitment contract with them. I am starting to not like this job and I always had a itch to go for OCS. Will my 2 year contract keep me from joining or does USERRA have me covered?
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Are there any 92W slots open at Bragg I can beg the career counselor for at physical and enlist?
Thank you.
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If someone in the army were to marry someone from the air force, what are the chances of them being able to live togetheactually get stationed in the same or nearby places?
Thanks for any info in advance
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When will the Army issue out the OML for SSG’s?
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What is Fort Benning Basic Training like during Covid (now)?
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I'm looking to join the army and would like to know if I should go for enlisted or officer contract?
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What are your thoughts or words of advice for me, the 30yo female about to enlist 35W? Brutal honesty encouraged.
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What exactly does a prior service with 6 years and a masters in public administration do in the army as a officer? What fields should I look into and what is ocs like
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Do direct commission applicants still go to BCT and then OCS? If so, then what exactly is the difference between direction commissioning and the regular route of becoming an officer?
According to the Army website, "Direct Commission allows leaders in professional fields to become Army Officers immediately. Typically, a direct commission is given if you have an undergraduate degree, as well as expertise and special skills the Army needs at that time." I can see this happening maybe for a doctor or something, but I am primarily concerned with 17A Cyber Operations Officer.
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What type of underwear do you have to wear to the mini health exam and ship day? I’ve seen people say you have to wear briefs but others say it doesn’t matter. With corona I have to bring multiple sets of clothes so I need to know if I have to bring something specific
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Im currently doing OSUT to become a 11C and am having a hard time dealing with a fractured foot thats holding me back from completing my ruck for the Forge and probably the 12 and 16 mile that are required to graduate. Anybody got any tips on what I can do to get through this and not be recycled?
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How difficult is it to travel back to the US if you're stationed in Italy/Germany?
Edit: Not with COVID travel restrictions, just normally
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Can someone explain to me what the division commander's hip pocket scholarship is? I'm interested in that, but I'm confused on the benefit portion. Mostly interested in the financial information. Not sure if it's pertinent, but I'm currently an active duty staff sgt.
The application has you fill out a financial statement (cc form 228-r) and it's very invasive about your finances. Things like partner's salary, total monthly debts, whatever I'll fill it out. I'm confused though, in the bottom portion it asks about total monthly income, stipends, loans, salaries, ect.
So I guess the few things I'm not understnding are, don't I "ETS" and not have a salary unless I get a part time job? Do I stay "in" with the division commander's hip pocket scholarship and accrue federal service time? If I stay in, do I keep my current salary and get BAH and things like that? If I have to uproot my family and PCS to my college with no salary and living off of a $420 stipend, I don't think my wife and me could afford it which would definitely hamper my commissioning process.
Appreciate any info anyone has on this process, or even if someone has a POC I can contact who has been through this process.
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O1-E Question:
If I have 4+ years enlisted in the guard and then commission, do I qualify for O1-E pay?
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So I had a call with my recruiter today and he said I won't be able to get a waiver for nystagmus. I was born with it and I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Was just wondering if its normal for something like nystagmus to be disqualified and not able to waive. I am also talking to the airforce as well so who knows maybe they will waive it.
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I have a question for anyone who just finished 88M AIT. If you were an MOS-T or if you had an MOS-T in your class, how was the MOS-T process. Did MOS-T soldiers live in the same barracks as the new soldiers or are there MOS-T barracks you stay in and just show up in the morning for PT and at the hit times at the class locations?
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I am a Canadian citizen, never been to the US, reasonably fit in both mind and body, and am willing to do pretty much anything to become one owing to the sorry state of our own armed forces. The question is, how many hoops (bullshit) would I have to go through in order to have a shot at making it (Immigration, Security clearance requiring naturalization, etc) as an Army Ranger?
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Anyone know the NSN for extended peq15 pressure switches for 240s? No idea what key words to search for that.
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How do I know if army is offering re-enlistment bonuses for my MOS?
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Continuation Pay for those over 8 yrs of service.
https://militarypay.defense.gov/Portals/3/Documents/BlendedRetirementDocuments/Continuation%20Pay%20Rates%202020.pdf
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Looking for extra life insurance while in the military?
https://www.aafmaa.com/life-insurance?campaignid=201489191&adgroupid=42397443724&creative=321064913006&matchtype=b&network=g&device=c&keyword=vgli&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqrb7BRDlARIsACwGad4fqTytEaZMgytWsvPcyIENcHUY0H3ef1w8AFaHT4qr_I4mPBrcMlIaArU1EALw_wcB
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I saw it in another thread and didn't want to hijack it.
Do medical slots fill up fast? Like 68C?
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Super new to researching entering into the military. Someone I know in a different branch told me that when you join Army, no matter your MOS (even if you get 92Y or 68X) you will indefinitely ship to fight. Is this accurate?
Also how often can you change your MOS?
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How's Benning at the moment? I hear it's a bit crowded. I was wondering what that leaves in store for prior service coming there for OSUT
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I'm 28 almost 29 years old, have my bachelor's degree, but I'm not in-shape. I'm currently looking at enlisting as an E-4 and hoping to later go to OCS and commission as an officer. What would be a realistic timeline (my recruiter says I could basically arrive at the unit and request ocs right away...sounds fishy to me) and which MOS would be good for this (if any are better than others)?
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My recruiter is telling me to lie about multiple things and I am uncomfortable doing so. I am 27 years old. I was on anti-depressants about 6-7 years ago for a short period, but stopped taking them quickly after starting. I DID have a prescription though and he's saying to just say I didn't. I am not depressed and have not had any issues since, but I don't want to lie and screw myself later on.  
I did convince him to include a waiver for a misdemeanor charge from about 5 years ago. It irritated me that he even suggested just ignoring it.  
I'm also getting a waiver for a surgery I had about 14 years ago (foot injury called "jones break", simple surgery)  
Then there's just weird shit he's saying to lie about, like saying my wife's step-dad is her real dad. Saying I never had a passport, even though I did and just no longer physically have it.  
Everyone in this recruiting office seems to say the same things he does.  
I want this badly. I want to serve my country. The thought of doing it by beginning with a lie makes me feel ashamed of myself. I have not yet been to MEPS. Only done some paperwork and taken a pre-ASVAB test (scored 75). Should I just contact a different recruiter and explain my situation? I don't want to just screw over my current recruiter, but I really don't want to fuck myself down the road for stupid lies.
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Just a few questions if anyone is willing to help out. I’m currently serving in Active Duty right now. Just hit my two year mark. Hitting my ETS date in 18 months. I’m probably going to separate from the Army once I hit my time but I was also thinking about switching to the National Guard. My questions are: For anyone who has done switched, how different was it from Active Duty? Another question is: Is it possible to be a part of a State’s Unit without actually having lived there? Basically, I’m originally from California, but I’d want to move to Arizona, so is there a way I can be a part of the AZ National Guard, or would I have to be a part of the CA NG? I understand that I would need to be a current resident for the particular state to be a part of its NG, but what if it’s a switch from Active Duty?
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Hi everyone,
So currently I’m in Korea and my DEROS is end of Jan. My Report date, Early March. I have an authorized early report date of 60 days.
I was just wondering if I could take my leave before my DEROS since I have an early report date of 60 days.
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A enlisted person can get LRP and the Enlisted Bonus? Or you are only able to get one of this "benefits"?. Also, I scored 72 on the asvab. i have not signed anything yet
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what does the select reserve gi bill really cover? I know that it lasts for 36 months and I will receive a monthly stipend but what else is included?
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Can a soldier request to receive BAS if they have a specialized diet, but that is not prescribed for religious observance or alternative lifestyles (vegan/vegetarian)?
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Doing a comparison of AirForce VS Army.
Sorry for sounding so naive, but quite frankly I'm someone that knows jk st about the military (I have an idea about it, but that's as far as it goes). I'm intent on enlisting, and still weighing the pros and cons between these two branches.. I feel interested in both, but can't make up my mind. I dont wanna be stuck at a desk all the time, but I don't need to be in the field all the time either... I do plan on becoming an officer once I get my bachelor's but I heard it gets pretty competitive in the AF when compared to the Army... what input do you guys have for a guy like myself? Any perspective and experience is much appreciated
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Are u guys still wearing berets? Are u able to get one at BX?
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What is the best MOS in the 68 series where I would have time to take night classes (i.e. classes with labs)?
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Tl;DR: Do you need to go active to get good training or is OSUT enough?
Hello, I have a few questions about joining the army infantry to determine if it's even a worthwhile pursuit in this day and age.
Is Infantry OSUT even useful training? Or do you only get the useful stuff at your unit? Could you be somewhat competent with just this and possibly being trained by a combat veteran?
Does your active unit even teach you good training nowadays, or would I be spending my entire 2-3 year enlistment as basically a glorified janitogroundskeeper now that it's peacetime?
If the active route doesn't hold much value anymore, would I basically be getting the same value in terms of training and skills to just join the guard or reserves?
Thanks for anyone taking the time to read this and respond.
I'm a prior service Air Force vet and a former amateur MMA fighter. After learning to fight with unarmed for 2 plus years, I've come to realize my complete lack of skills in regards to weapons and modern combat (and TBH, I also kind of miss the military life). With the way the world is going, I think these skills are becoming increasingly important. I don't expect or want to become some kind of door-kicking badass operator, but I would like to have gun skills and be able to be somewhat competent in a firefight.
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for anyone experiencing bipola depression/ mood disorders, what was your experience in the army? basic training and beyond?
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Hey, so I'm 20yo and thinking about joining soon. My only concern is that I want to take care of my own health and don't want the government dictating what I should be doing for my own health.
I did some research and found there is a religious exemption form from vaccines and such.
Would that exempt me from all vaccines?
I'd appreciate it if someone would share more info if they have it, thank you!
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submitted by Army_Bot to army [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 14:38 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (9/21/2020 to 9/27/2020)

What MOS’s are good for the 75th if you want to be a door kicker? Would 11x suffice?
What about 35F? Spoke with a recruiter who told that the option 40 contracts are limited and it is easier to just volunteer after AIT
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So I’m planning on taking the asvab but my recruiter is telling me I have to stay over at the hotel the night before the test because of new covid protocol procedure. Is he lying or telling the truth on this? I’ll be heading to Fort Hamilton for the test
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anyone been to sfas what workout or muscle should you have focused on first. my running is my priority at this moment and am focusing on more weightlifting strength after hopefully having made it through.
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I have MEPs on Friday and might be in need of a medical waiver. What can I expect?
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Hello all! My question is about enlisting 35W. I scored highly on both the ASVAB and DLAB, and my end goal is a Linguist role. I am asking because I’ve come to understand that 35W/M are in some sort of transition and I just want to make absolutely certain that I am going to be on the right path. Thank you so much, any and all insight or feedback is greatly appreciated!
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Are masks mandatory in basic training now during runs and rucking?
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I’m about to ship to BCT but I was wondering, with COVID going on, how do I go about getting some of my civilian clothes, my laptop, etc to me at AIT? Can my AD Navy friend bring them to me since he has base access or is that a no go in AIT?
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Also, can females use a mesh hair donut in boot camp, or are we only allowed bobby pins?
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Are there any AD 37Fs active on here? I'm strongly considering a 37X contract and I'd like to ask a few questions if you have the time.
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75th Ranger Question. What are the requirements to volunteer for the regiment as an 11A? I can’t find anything online. I’m hoping to commission within the next year and I’m assuming that you can’t graduate IBOLC and then go straight to volunteering for regiment; I can’t find any information on this though. I’m sure u/75thRangerRecruiter could help
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I was wondering what is the process in order to get into specialty schools in the army. I'm all about learning more and improving and I am really interested about mountain, jungle, and Arctic school. I want to attend all these before I hit up ranger school and then attend sfas. Anyone have any thoughtful opinions or insight on getting into these schools? Thank you
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Has Anyone transitioned from AD to guard to fly? Without being a pilot already
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As anyone been to the Battle Staff VTT course? If so, how is it with connections and talking to the instructors via computer?
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Has anybody ever tried getting skillport to work on an xbox? I want to be able to watch the videos on my TV.
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Anyone know if SF Group Support Battalions have slots for 2LTs? Is it possible to be assigned to a GSB as a loggie straight out of BOLC?
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Just got this text from my recruiter re: my packet when I asked for updates and said I had a lot of life paths hanging in the balance:
"I understand, unfortunately this is not a quick process. My best recommendation is go on with your current plans. Once we know if you are approved to even physical, and then pass the physical, that is good for 2 years so you have time to still take it into effect with your decision making process."
Am I fucked?
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Joining after a suicide attempt? long story short when i was 13 I was feeling real bad and tried to kill myself. I went to a mental hospital for 7 days. I had out patient care for a few months after and before. I was on antidepressants for less ~8 months (but never took them). I am 18 now and and very very interested in joining the military. I originally wanted to go navy but they dqed me full stop nothing they could do. I talked to my army recruiter and told him about my situation. He told me i should lie and not to worry about it. But i have scars on my arm from SH and the navy already has my full medical records. Should i be worried about the navy's records getting to the army? And should i go against my morals and lie to meps? Like i said i really have no other plans i didn't realize its was a automatic DQ even if you are better for multiple years.
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Who knows how to access Assignment Satisfaction Key from a personal computer? Ive been trying for like a week or so and keep gettinf "Err_connection reset". Any have a fix?
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Wanting to join after my husband getting out. My recruiter told me to lie and say I’ve never taken Antidepressants, because as long as it’s over 2 years ago I’ll be fine. But I was on Tricare when I was given them. Will I be okay as long as I say I never took any? Or can they get access to that.
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Prior service returning as an 11X e-5 here via OSUT. Do I get a PCS move when I arrive at my final duty station? I'll be in the barracks but still want my kitchenware, personal stuff, and to ship my car.
For guys in OSUT/Benning, when do you recommend bringing out my car, if at all?
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Ex Canadian infantry here. I'm looking to pick up a few green "Book, Memorandum" (NSN 7530-00-222-3521), been in love with them since I got my first one while on training the in US. Where can I buy a legit one online that has the classic, cloth, not plastic/paper, cover? Cheers.
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When does the ACFT take over as the test of record? I always thought it was 01OCT20, but I took it recently and one of the graders announced something about FY23. That’s so far away. Any idea what they could have been talking about?
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Hey all, I hope you're doing well! I was just wondering if some of you could clarify what my recruiter told me. I first asked my recruiter about 2 year active duty contracts and also asked him if it would be 2 years active with 6 years of IRR or if it would be 2 years active with 2 years in the Reserves and then 4 years of IRR. He said it was possible to make it 2 years with 6 years of IRR (which seemed too good to be true), but I went along with it. I was supposed to go to MEPS in the next few days, but thankfully another recruiter caught the mistake and informed me it was 2 years active with 2 years in the Reserves. After that, my recruiter offered a 3 year contract. However, the other recruiter clarified it was 3 years plus basic and AIT. Is that true or does the 3 years include both BCT and AIT? Thanks for the help!
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Hey, I'm an 11B with Delta 2/19 at Sand Hill rn. Just turned green a few days ago. I couldn't get an option 40 while enlisting because of a past surgery but my GE and PT scores are competitive for RASP. I heard Ranger recruiters may come around at some point asking for volunteers.
Anyone have any experience with this or know about what week that might happen? I heard because of Covid things are a little weird atm and they might not be as active recruiting guys out of basic atm.
Also general order number 5 is really twisting my nuts. So excited for general order 6.
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what was the funnest helicopter repairer mos im looking into that one and im not sure if i want apache or the chinook since you can ride in them
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I am currently a sophomore in college and I'm planning on enlisting in the Army at the end of my spring semester. I heard that I need to send in my spring class schedule to the army and pass all of the classes on the schedule in order to be accepted. Can anyone clarify this process for me? I'm having a little trouble understanding how and why this process needs to happen. Thank you in advance.
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How's life at airborne school right now?
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I'm currently an E-4 11b considering reclassing to EOD. I get out in a little over a year but I'm wondering if I'll have to reenlist/extend to reclass. I'd talk to my battalion career counselor but I'm quarantined for the next week. Thanks in advance.
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Social life in the army? I keep seeing posts about people being very lonely and unhappy. I'm thinking about enlisting,going great with the recruiter and i'm very excited about the job etc. However,i don't want to end up feeling like that,is this something i need to consider?
I'm very happy with myself,good mental stability and some other virtues so i'm not worried about ending up in a bad place.
I am worried i will end up with no one in my life. I have no family,some friends but they won't be around. And some that won't be friends after i join (i don't follow the lifestyle i was raised in and this is another thing that goes against some cultural expectations etc,was cut out of the community/family/friends) long story short,Can i count on the army to provide some opportunities for a social life/friendship or can i end up like some of these posts? Should i take this into consideration? Is this something i should be worried about?
Sorry about the stupid(?)question,it's just important to me.
(Edit: because i posted too soon)
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In the recruitment process ATM but recently my recruiter went back into the field. I didn't get a heads up about it and was in the process of having people send over some documents. Will my new recruiter be able to access documents sent over to the old recruiter's email address? Or should I just ask these folks to send to the new recruiter's email?
New recruiters answers to this question are pretty vague *shrug*
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Hey everyone, i’ve been really excited because I want to enlist next month. I’ve been thinking about it for a LONG time and would like to go through with it, however im really nervous about basic training. Mainly because I get the occasional headache, and while not diagnosed, im pretty sure I get migraines. I take excedrin migraine for them, but I don’t get them often. However, I know you can’t take any medicine with you to Basic. does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t want to get a migraine there and have to be sent home, but this is something I really want to do.
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I got recommended for a med a few months ago, and I have a P3 profile but I haven't been contacted by anyone since, is there someone I should call? I already sent my PCM a message just curious if there is anywhere else I could get some information.
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I'm an 11-X and my osut got pushed to October 1st has this happened to anyone else?
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I’m wanting to finish my degree in criminal justice. I have enough completed for an associates, and want to go for my bachelors. I’ve been told MP osut gives college credits towards criminal justice. Is this true?
Also what MOS would you recommend that gives enough “off time” in order to complete last two years of your bachelors. I’m really interested in MP since my degree is criminal justice, also the potential college credits which would help in getting my degree, but I’ve heard MPs have little time off. Any information and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Currently in the Army Reserve and put my paperwork in to go Active and reclass to Infantry. Will I be placed at the beginning of BCT again or will I start during the OSUT phase? As an E3 what will my experience be like? Do I have to shave my dome again?
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So I got out of RA a year ago now. I served “7 1/2 years”. I went into the reserves right after went to 5 drill weekends never got paid never got a chance to inprocess. I did everything they asked , January rolls around I ask them to go IRR the CO and Top had no issues with that. I fill out the paper work then, I leave my PSG sends me a message saying they can ETS me instead like I never was in the reserves. I agreed to it and I drove on. Everything is good for a few months I finally get a message from my PSG I need to sign the paper work again, after not hearing from anyone over there for months I do it and not worry about it. I get told a month later, I gotta check in with my PSG once a week to check the status of my packet. which I do no problem fast forward to August. I’m getting told to sign my NCOER even though, I only worked for them about 5 months so I’m hesitant about signing. A new PL gets mad and tells me I have to if not I’ll get demoted and a negative discharge and says I have all these U’s for Feb-July I should basically have my ass handed to me. so I was forced to sign and start attending their zoom meetings. I spoke to my PSG and 1sgt about everything and they just tell me okay then brush it off, it’s like I’m not being heard. I spoke to jag they said the only thing they can do is fix the pay issue. So my question is what should I do? What can I do I just want to be done with them?
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I graduated college with a BA in computer science. I got a job that had me sign a 2 year commitment contract with them. I am starting to not like this job and I always had a itch to go for OCS. Will my 2 year contract keep me from joining or does USERRA have me covered?
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Are there any 92W slots open at Bragg I can beg the career counselor for at physical and enlist?
Thank you.
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If someone in the army were to marry someone from the air force, what are the chances of them being able to live togetheactually get stationed in the same or nearby places?
Thanks for any info in advance
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When will the Army issue out the OML for SSG’s?
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What is Fort Benning Basic Training like during Covid (now)?
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I'm looking to join the army and would like to know if I should go for enlisted or officer contract?
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What are your thoughts or words of advice for me, the 30yo female about to enlist 35W? Brutal honesty encouraged.
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What exactly does a prior service with 6 years and a masters in public administration do in the army as a officer? What fields should I look into and what is ocs like
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Do direct commission applicants still go to BCT and then OCS? If so, then what exactly is the difference between direction commissioning and the regular route of becoming an officer?
According to the Army website, "Direct Commission allows leaders in professional fields to become Army Officers immediately. Typically, a direct commission is given if you have an undergraduate degree, as well as expertise and special skills the Army needs at that time." I can see this happening maybe for a doctor or something, but I am primarily concerned with 17A Cyber Operations Officer.
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What type of underwear do you have to wear to the mini health exam and ship day? I’ve seen people say you have to wear briefs but others say it doesn’t matter. With corona I have to bring multiple sets of clothes so I need to know if I have to bring something specific
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Im currently doing OSUT to become a 11C and am having a hard time dealing with a fractured foot thats holding me back from completing my ruck for the Forge and probably the 12 and 16 mile that are required to graduate. Anybody got any tips on what I can do to get through this and not be recycled?
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How difficult is it to travel back to the US if you're stationed in Italy/Germany?
Edit: Not with COVID travel restrictions, just normally
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Can someone explain to me what the division commander's hip pocket scholarship is? I'm interested in that, but I'm confused on the benefit portion. Mostly interested in the financial information. Not sure if it's pertinent, but I'm currently an active duty staff sgt.
The application has you fill out a financial statement (cc form 228-r) and it's very invasive about your finances. Things like partner's salary, total monthly debts, whatever I'll fill it out. I'm confused though, in the bottom portion it asks about total monthly income, stipends, loans, salaries, ect.
So I guess the few things I'm not understnding are, don't I "ETS" and not have a salary unless I get a part time job? Do I stay "in" with the division commander's hip pocket scholarship and accrue federal service time? If I stay in, do I keep my current salary and get BAH and things like that? If I have to uproot my family and PCS to my college with no salary and living off of a $420 stipend, I don't think my wife and me could afford it which would definitely hamper my commissioning process.
Appreciate any info anyone has on this process, or even if someone has a POC I can contact who has been through this process.
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O1-E Question:
If I have 4+ years enlisted in the guard and then commission, do I qualify for O1-E pay?
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So I had a call with my recruiter today and he said I won't be able to get a waiver for nystagmus. I was born with it and I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Was just wondering if its normal for something like nystagmus to be disqualified and not able to waive. I am also talking to the airforce as well so who knows maybe they will waive it.
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I have a question for anyone who just finished 88M AIT. If you were an MOS-T or if you had an MOS-T in your class, how was the MOS-T process. Did MOS-T soldiers live in the same barracks as the new soldiers or are there MOS-T barracks you stay in and just show up in the morning for PT and at the hit times at the class locations?
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I am a Canadian citizen, never been to the US, reasonably fit in both mind and body, and am willing to do pretty much anything to become one owing to the sorry state of our own armed forces. The question is, how many hoops (bullshit) would I have to go through in order to have a shot at making it (Immigration, Security clearance requiring naturalization, etc) as an Army Ranger?
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Anyone know the NSN for extended peq15 pressure switches for 240s? No idea what key words to search for that.
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How do I know if army is offering re-enlistment bonuses for my MOS?
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Continuation Pay for those over 8 yrs of service.
https://militarypay.defense.gov/Portals/3/Documents/BlendedRetirementDocuments/Continuation%20Pay%20Rates%202020.pdf
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Looking for extra life insurance while in the military?
https://www.aafmaa.com/life-insurance?campaignid=201489191&adgroupid=42397443724&creative=321064913006&matchtype=b&network=g&device=c&keyword=vgli&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqrb7BRDlARIsACwGad4fqTytEaZMgytWsvPcyIENcHUY0H3ef1w8AFaHT4qr_I4mPBrcMlIaArU1EALw_wcB
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I saw it in another thread and didn't want to hijack it.
Do medical slots fill up fast? Like 68C?
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Super new to researching entering into the military. Someone I know in a different branch told me that when you join Army, no matter your MOS (even if you get 92Y or 68X) you will indefinitely ship to fight. Is this accurate?
Also how often can you change your MOS?
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How's Benning at the moment? I hear it's a bit crowded. I was wondering what that leaves in store for prior service coming there for OSUT
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I'm 28 almost 29 years old, have my bachelor's degree, but I'm not in-shape. I'm currently looking at enlisting as an E-4 and hoping to later go to OCS and commission as an officer. What would be a realistic timeline (my recruiter says I could basically arrive at the unit and request ocs right away...sounds fishy to me) and which MOS would be good for this (if any are better than others)?
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My recruiter is telling me to lie about multiple things and I am uncomfortable doing so. I am 27 years old. I was on anti-depressants about 6-7 years ago for a short period, but stopped taking them quickly after starting. I DID have a prescription though and he's saying to just say I didn't. I am not depressed and have not had any issues since, but I don't want to lie and screw myself later on.  
I did convince him to include a waiver for a misdemeanor charge from about 5 years ago. It irritated me that he even suggested just ignoring it.  
I'm also getting a waiver for a surgery I had about 14 years ago (foot injury called "jones break", simple surgery)  
Then there's just weird shit he's saying to lie about, like saying my wife's step-dad is her real dad. Saying I never had a passport, even though I did and just no longer physically have it.  
Everyone in this recruiting office seems to say the same things he does.  
I want this badly. I want to serve my country. The thought of doing it by beginning with a lie makes me feel ashamed of myself. I have not yet been to MEPS. Only done some paperwork and taken a pre-ASVAB test (scored 75). Should I just contact a different recruiter and explain my situation? I don't want to just screw over my current recruiter, but I really don't want to fuck myself down the road for stupid lies.
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Just a few questions if anyone is willing to help out. I’m currently serving in Active Duty right now. Just hit my two year mark. Hitting my ETS date in 18 months. I’m probably going to separate from the Army once I hit my time but I was also thinking about switching to the National Guard. My questions are: For anyone who has done switched, how different was it from Active Duty? Another question is: Is it possible to be a part of a State’s Unit without actually having lived there? Basically, I’m originally from California, but I’d want to move to Arizona, so is there a way I can be a part of the AZ National Guard, or would I have to be a part of the CA NG? I understand that I would need to be a current resident for the particular state to be a part of its NG, but what if it’s a switch from Active Duty?
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Hi everyone,
So currently I’m in Korea and my DEROS is end of Jan. My Report date, Early March. I have an authorized early report date of 60 days.
I was just wondering if I could take my leave before my DEROS since I have an early report date of 60 days.
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A enlisted person can get LRP and the Enlisted Bonus? Or you are only able to get one of this "benefits"?. Also, I scored 72 on the asvab. i have not signed anything yet
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what does the select reserve gi bill really cover? I know that it lasts for 36 months and I will receive a monthly stipend but what else is included?
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Can a soldier request to receive BAS if they have a specialized diet, but that is not prescribed for religious observance or alternative lifestyles (vegan/vegetarian)?
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Doing a comparison of AirForce VS Army.
Sorry for sounding so naive, but quite frankly I'm someone that knows jk st about the military (I have an idea about it, but that's as far as it goes). I'm intent on enlisting, and still weighing the pros and cons between these two branches.. I feel interested in both, but can't make up my mind. I dont wanna be stuck at a desk all the time, but I don't need to be in the field all the time either... I do plan on becoming an officer once I get my bachelor's but I heard it gets pretty competitive in the AF when compared to the Army... what input do you guys have for a guy like myself? Any perspective and experience is much appreciated
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Are u guys still wearing berets? Are u able to get one at BX?
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What is the best MOS in the 68 series where I would have time to take night classes (i.e. classes with labs)?
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Tl;DR: Do you need to go active to get good training or is OSUT enough?
Hello, I have a few questions about joining the army infantry to determine if it's even a worthwhile pursuit in this day and age.
Is Infantry OSUT even useful training? Or do you only get the useful stuff at your unit? Could you be somewhat competent with just this and possibly being trained by a combat veteran?
Does your active unit even teach you good training nowadays, or would I be spending my entire 2-3 year enlistment as basically a glorified janitogroundskeeper now that it's peacetime?
If the active route doesn't hold much value anymore, would I basically be getting the same value in terms of training and skills to just join the guard or reserves?
Thanks for anyone taking the time to read this and respond.
I'm a prior service Air Force vet and a former amateur MMA fighter. After learning to fight with unarmed for 2 plus years, I've come to realize my complete lack of skills in regards to weapons and modern combat (and TBH, I also kind of miss the military life). With the way the world is going, I think these skills are becoming increasingly important. I don't expect or want to become some kind of door-kicking badass operator, but I would like to have gun skills and be able to be somewhat competent in a firefight.
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for anyone experiencing bipola depression/ mood disorders, what was your experience in the army? basic training and beyond?
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Hey, so I'm 20yo and thinking about joining soon. My only concern is that I want to take care of my own health and don't want the government dictating what I should be doing for my own health.
I did some research and found there is a religious exemption form from vaccines and such.
Would that exempt me from all vaccines?
I'd appreciate it if someone would share more info if they have it, thank you!
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submitted by Army_Bot to ArmyWQT [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 13:10 ThrowRAMessGirl14 I don't know what to do about my boyfriend talking to other girls while living with me

It's a very long story and I know he uses Reddit, so hopefully, he won't see this, that's why I'm using a throwaway account.
In June, I met this guy through OKC. I'm insecure because of past experiences so I start carefully.
We talked for a few days then moved into Whatsapp.
I noticed that a few days later I couldn't find him anymore (I tend to go back and check old conversations to see if I have already asked something because I have a terrible memory).
He said that he had deactivated the app and that he was going to delete it, later he said he had deleted it.
During our conversations, he mentioned several times how nice it was not to have to deal with apps anymore because it was very annoying to find interesting people there. That he was very happy that he found me and so on. We decided to meet in the middle of August for a weekend in a hotel.
Now, we went to talk to the forest and he held my hand, later when we sat on a bench he kissed me, and a while after we went back to the hotel (we had separate rooms), he invited me over to "chill" in his room. Now, I come from a very uptight country and I hadn't dated anyone in a long time, I hadn't slept with anyone since I was around 18 although I had plenty of opportunities because I didn't want to be another number on a list.
So, that day, we slept together. I wanted it and it seems so did he. I decided to have a good time regardless if I never hear from him again after this weekend because honestly I was fed up about being inexperienced regarding sex. It was nice.
After that, he properly introduced himself. I confessed I felt a bit of a slut for sleeping with someone on the first date. He said I didn't think I was and that his intentions were noble. I honestly thought he didn't mean it.
Still, the weekend was over and we were still talking although the conversations became more focused on sex and food. He has a food obsession and says sex and food for him are mutually exclusive regarding the sensation of being "filled" that they bring. Then they turned into, if I would feed him and if I minded that he got big after eating all that imaginary food. He's got a big imagination with that.
About 3/4 weeks later, we met again for a weekend at my apartment (I live alone), we also had a good time. He has mentioned a few times that he would like to stay longer. He was the one who initially brought up the apartment idea because it was cheaper than a hotel, which is true and I didn't mind.
Then we talked about him staying for a week, at this point, he has already told his parents about me a while ago and they want to meet me. They have also told him that he has to move out (he's been living with them since corona because they asked, but before that, he lived on his own for 8 years or so).
He says that maybe it's time to define our relationship since we've been dating for a while. We agree to do it once he's here during that week.
We set a date for his stay in my apartment.
He comes for that week, we agree that we're bf/gf now.
His week here is over on Friday but we're going to his parents on Sunday, he talks about driving together there, in my mind he will stay with them, but then he mentions we will come back. At this point, I don't know how did the first week become more, so I said okay, maybe two weeks then. but again, nothing is said and he just continues to be here.
I've been alone for a while so I must say I enjoy the company, he cooks for us and we watch either tv or we read together in silence. He mentions that he doesn't want to be a leech and that he can go but I say that it's okay to stay.
About one week later, he's talking to someone on the phone who I don't know who it is, and so I get insecure (I already am) but after a while, I notice it's family. He notices something is off with me and asks and I tell him, and he apologizes, hugs me, tells me it's his cousin, etc. (It was his cousin). He enters reassurance mode that night.
During one evening, we're cuddling and he says something along the line that I deserve to be loved unconditionally. I asked why he said that but he says it just came to him. I don't remember the exact date but I think it's the same event as the event below.
About one week later after that, he becomes super secretive with his phone, putting it face down when he's not using it or angling it so I can't see the screen. I get paranoid. I keep reading all these online lists about "the red flags", so, one day he goes out to take the trash and leaves the phone. I decide to do something bad and check it. Bad because I know you're not supposed to do that and yet, I was so paranoid... his phone is different than mine, so I only manage to pop up the recent apps, Facebook messenger and there's a conversation, with another woman, dark-skinned (I'm mentioning this because it becomes relevant), and to my surprise, the conversation looks a lot like the ones we had about food... A LOT. Like textbook copy, so I start thinking... is this the M.O of this guy? also, he said to her that he was with a friend... I'm not just a friend (then again, I don't remember if the date of this conversation was before/after we declared the "official" relationship)
To be honest, the fact that the conversation looked the same shocked me more than the actual finding of him talking to this woman. I couldn't see much, just that...
I got very upset after that but I pretended nothing happened for a bit. I talked to some friends who said to talk to him so I came out with a list of questions to ask. The thing is, I was super emotional those days because of hormones so I cried while asking and I did a lot of blaming on myself (which I shouldn't have done and I regretted after the conversation was over).
I asked him, what cheating meant to him (physical/emotional/flirting), he said yes to all. Before, he mentioned that dealbreakers for him would be the other person checking out and not wanting to maintain a relationship, cheating, polyamory, etc. That if that happens, he would do a "double down" and leave.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he said yes.
I asked him if he was talking to other girls or flirting, he said no.
I told him I felt insecure that he was glued to his phone all the time and that I had the feeling he was hiding something because of it. After that, he only used it when I wasn't around.
I told him I had the impression he was using me as a safe haven from his parents, he said that he understood that it was ambiguous and decided to offer to contribute with the bills.
I told him that if something was going on, I would be angry but I would get over it and I wasn't going to throw him out in the middle of the night either and that if he had something to say, that was the time and that I didn't want to feel after a while, that this relationship was a waste of time.
He said that there was nothing to say.
He mentioned about one month into dating that it would be nice to live together for a while, like for a month as a "trial period" to see how we would work as a couple. The event above was a few days short of a month of his stay here.
Now, as usual, he hugs me and goes into recomforting me, asks if now that the ambiguity is resolved I feel better, at that moment, I still had that feeling he was hiding something and I told him that. But I gave myself the benefit of the doubt... oddly enough after that, although I had evidence of the contrary, I felt better and that I could trust him.
A few days later, he's still being secretive with his phone and I asked him if he trusted me? He said yes, I followed with `completely`? he said he doesn't trust anyone completely and I thought that was okay because I don't either... I told him why I was asking, he's always hiding his phone. He acted surprised and said that he didn't notice he was doing that and after that, he makes sure not to hide his screen. I can always see it when we're together. This also made me feel I could trust him and he wasn't hiding anything.
Still, that conversation I read kept crawling back to me. It had been a few days of that feeling coming and going and I just could feel something was off in my gut. I feel like an idiot because I know he lied but I was looking for some explanation for that conversation I read.
Yesterday, he left his phone and I noticed too late to do something. During the night, I couldn't sleep thinking about it... I had to be sure. It was like an overwhelming feeling that I had to know. So despite what I promised myself, I broke the trust once more.
I found the conversation again and it seems they go back a long time, the conversation is similar to ours although there are not many talks about sex, mostly food.
I read another conversation with another girl, who by the looks of it, it's his friend, where he talks about us, she says it's getting serious and he something along the lines that he was happy and she replied that she was happy for him because it seems he finally found someone who compliments him and appreciates him the way he should...
Then, I found another conversation with a dark-skinned lady who it seems they were sort of dating (but not really) before he moved to his parents, it seems she's very interested in him, but lately, he's been absent (of course, he's been here). She's a very religious lady that says no to sex before marriage, no to living together before marriage. He mentions that he wants to see what it's like to live together, but that he can't stay where she is. That he doesn't want to wait for 2 years until she's done, she says it's only 1. She says she's very into him but he doesn't show interest.
At some point, he says, that she's his dream girl (which I've heard a lot addressed to myself). The girl misses him, but he doesn't answer often although she has asked to have a serious talk several times. She says I love you to him and he replies the same (although I've only gotten I like you from him).
He can only see her once a week when he goes to his previous hometown and they just hug, apparently.
There's a lot of unanswered messages on that chat and it's silent. I got the girls number just in case I need it some time (I feel bad, honestly.).
I found a few other photos of overweight dark-skinned ladies as well, but most of the photos of women on his phone are mine... I'm sure he deletes others. I'm white looking but Latina and thick af.
I think he might be on another dating app but I couldn't find it, but I also saw emails from him asking to cancel his account. He always uses fake names on those dating apps anyway.
However, the most shocking thing of all was to read about the emails he sends to his ex.
He told me about his ex, about how they were together for a short time, but he said it was unclear if he was the father then he said it got clear that they didn't want to be together, that he tried to make it work and that he was being taken advantage of so he left... he moved.
Now, on the email, it seems he knows indeed the kid was his (I think I interpreted it wrong when he said it the first time now that I'm reading it again as I'm writing this), he asks to see her but it seems he called himself the sperm donor, that he blocked her from everywhere, that he didn't want to do anything with it... that his family isn't happy, they don't acknowledge it (he once mentioned that a dark-skinned person wouldn't fit well in his family). Guess what? the lady is dark-skinned... Apparently, the subject is taboo, there's a lot of emails about him wanting to see his kid but she doesn't let him, because he just walked away.
Now, I'm not so sure that he moving was his idea or his parents... he did say he fucked up badly, even to her, about past mistakes. He also mentioned to me once that after this, that's when his food obsession began.
The thing is that I 100% know that checking a partner's phone is wrong, but I was also sure there was something off. I tried to have an honest conversation about it but it seems nothing happened.
I tried to figure out why he does it... so I asked him if he missed the thrill of dating but he said no.
This morning I asked him about avoiding hard decisions, he says it's true he avoids them so perhaps not telling that girl that he's been ghosting to move on is due to avoidance.
I asked as well that if avoiding hard decisions means that he always has a plan B, and he said yes.
Then I asked what was the plan B in our situation or if I was plan B. He said that I was the plan A and in case of plan B, he would go back to a friend's place.
I asked him about his parents recently, especially his mom, because I know he has talked to his dad and he said something along the lines of his mother pressuring him to leave and that she finally got what she wanted. So, that makes me think that he planned to stay all along. Does he know I'm too nice to do something about it? Is he taking advantage of my loneliness?
Finally, this morning, after the hard decision question. He asked me if I would like to become an official couple eventually. I asked him what it meant, he said to officially move into here. I don't know if that means legally but I do know that I'm planning to buy this apartment and I would do a prenup of sorts if anything official happens. I don't want to owe half of my hard-earned money to someone I don't know well enough.
He also asked me if I wanted to get married soon recently, I said that wasn't in my plans.
He said whenever I'm ready we'll talk about it, but it also confused me because he said his career was his priority at the moment.
He replied something to my comment about the career but I can't remember what it was.
So, I don't know if to think that he likes dark-skinned ladies but because of his family he can't be with one and he settled for me, a thick Latina white-looking lady.
I don't know if he's using me, I think he is but I can never tell. Maybe he's very good at manipulating.
I do find it weird that I'm the one the parents know. Some of his friends that he speaks to regularly know of me. His grandparents know of me and that facebook friend that it seems they go way back.
Sometimes I'm too nice and I feel like I'm taken advantage of.
I honestly don't know what are his intentions with me, or at all.
I feel like an idiot that I still like him and I want to understand wtf is going on in his mind, why he does it. If he serious about me, am I just a plan in case something else goes wrong then
A friend of mine suggested just to enjoy it while it lasts and doesn't think too much of it. Living with someone is also a new experience for me.
Again, yes. I know what I did was wrong but here I am asking for advice on how to proceed.
TL;DR:
My boyfriend has been talking to other girls online, I asked about it, he lied, yet I'm the one who knows his parents and some friends of his know about. His parents kicked him out and now he's living with me. He keeps saying nice things so I don't know if he's manipulating me, or serious. Or if he's just settling because he can't get what he wants due to his family.
submitted by ThrowRAMessGirl14 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 12:39 samrw00 Giant Noob looking to build "Budget-Builds Official" style sub 100 euro ($116) as a challenge and learning experience.

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Playing extremely undemanding games and older titles for cheap, think ps3/360 era games and older(crysis, half life, minecraft, morrowind etc) with the occasional more modern indie title(stardew valley, undertale maybe?). Also (if possible) light video editing and screen recording: OBS and shotcut. Really nothing amazing.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
about 100 euro (116 US dollars), the cheaper the better I'll explain why down below! :)
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
Sooner the better, my birthday is 6th of October, so if I could get started by then it'd be like a self birthday present :)
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
I intend to buy an old desktop PC, think a dell optiplex, HP Compaq, a Thinkcentre, Acer etc. and just upgrade the RAM, put in a Graphics card, maybe a new cpu and whatever else is needed. I have a mouse and keyboard, potentially a monitor and hard drive too although suggestions welcome.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
I live in Dublin Ireland so most likely all parts will be sourced on ebay, facebook marketplace, gumtree etc.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Unfortunately I've almost zero knowledge on computer parts/products :( My mouse is an old advent mouse and I think I've a logitech keyboard both of which I'm happy with. I've a couple spare hard drives which are between 320GB and 500GB from samsung and toshiba. My monitor is actually an old toshiba tv which I used to use to hook up my laptop via a HDMI cable when my screen broke. Happy to use it since graphics are not my main concern but again suggestions welcome.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Only if people consider it worthwhile, I'm not sure what's best for this type of build.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Pretty much no, I'm very easy.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Not at all :) whatever keeps the budget low.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Think I've a copy of windows but I wouldn't mind a computer that comes with it installed either, no preference really but I assume windows 7 and up is best for gaming?
Extra info or particulars: I've taken on the challenge of building an ultra cheap PC out of mainly used parts because I've been inspired by "budget-builds official's" videos. I can send a link for anyone interested but he buys old desktops and upgrades them to near xbox one levels of performance all for the cost of about 60 dollars. I'd love to do something similar but I've zero knowledge on PC parts, especially ones from 5-15 years ago. I know for a lot of people building something like this would be a pain so I'm actually much happier to just be pointed in the right direction in terms of educating myself on old parts or even just given one off part suggestions so I could build it myself without wasting anyone's time!
I don't intend to upgrade this PC if I build it and I'm well aware as a noob I will likely build something incredibly underpowered but I'd like to learn from the process of taking on this challenge and also I'm really not fussy at all about how powerful it is, if it actually works! I thank anyone brave/patient enough to help me :)
submitted by samrw00 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 10:25 Jaws1499 Overthinking at 4Am

Hey guys, (21 M) This is my first ever post to Reddit asking for advice. So I met this girl (20 F) at my college cafe, and we hit it off really well. We talked for 3 hours till I got enough courage to ask her out and she said yes.
She had never been in a serious relationship before, and my past with girls has not been good to me. I wouldn't consider these girls ex's because we were never official, we just always went out and had sex but never became actually bf and gf. The 1st girl I was with took advantage of me because I was inexperienced and the 2nd girl basically was very manipulative and disrespectful. So my past with girls has been rocky, but it never made not want to put myself out there.
So the fact that her and I want something serious felt really nice. So we text back and forth leading up to our first date and the date went great. She definitely wants to date me more and even proposed a double date this weekend with her best friend and her bf.
So I'm really happy cause I'm thinking this is gonna be something real, something genuine, because I've never felt like this and I feel I won't get hurt again.
Leading into today, we text eachother our Goodmornings and we told eachother that we had a great time the night prior. So I told her, later into the day as we both have work, that I was thinking about her. And essentially she told me, that it didn't make her uncomfortable, that actually she's never had that attention (never dated/had relationship before) from someone before and she didn't want to feel rushed and wanted to spend more time with me to get to know me, which I automatically understood and I reassured her that I want to make sure she's comfortable around me. We were both happy that we began to have open communication with eachother after the fact and I was like, "So we're good" and she said, "Yeah, we're good".
Later into the night, we were talking about movies and TV shows, where she told me she wanted me to watch her favorite movie. So I said, "I guess it's another date idea" and she said, "Not really a date, just movie night". I immediately started to explain myself because I thought I messed up (cause I lowkey thought movie nights could also be dates) and I said, "But yeah we should watch it together. We'll definitely need snacks." She then replied that I gotta stop explaining myself everytime as if I did something wrong just because she disagrees slightly. I told her it was a bad habit that formed after my past experiences with the 2 girls mentioned previously whereas they always made me feel like I did/said something wrong and I'd have to explain myself. The girl replied, "Well we're gonna break that habit. And yes we should. Definitely snacks are a must." And I thanked her for understanding and our conversation continued till we said Goodnight to eachother.
So essentially, it's 4AM and I've been up, overthinking as I'm terribly prone to do so, if anything is in jeopardy. Of course, in the first discussion, we communicated how we felt and, from my understanding everything is ok. But again, I'm very prone to overthink because I have a bad tendency to think many things are my fault, mostly due to my past 2 experiences.
So now, I'm thinking she's no longer interested, but she proposed the Movie Night, as well as saying she'll help resolve my bad habit of explaining myself. Which feels very nice because I've never had a partner who cared about my feelings and for her to say that, to me means, "Hey, I'm gonna stick around and I want to help fix the damage your past experiences caused for you."
I'm sorry for the long spiel guys, like I said, I can't sleep over this, so I thought I'd put my story out there cause I can't stop overthinking. Hopefully some of y'all can take the time to read my story and give me some advice. From my understanding, nothing's changed and we're still the same as before, but again, I keep overthinking that I messed something up. As I said, this is the first time I've been aiming for something legitimately serious and the best part is that we both have said we really connect with eachother, so last thing I want is to mess anything up
submitted by Jaws1499 to dating [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 05:06 ThrowRA_surfer I [23] have been with my GF[24] for just over a year and can't shake the reason she isn't totally perfect for me or I'm locking myself down too early. I love her but fantasize about breaking up with her. Is this just me being anxious or am I setting myself up for failure by staying with her?

Some context regarding out relationship: We met through a family friend at a party and hit it off pretty quick. She wasn't looking for anything serious, as she got out of a long term relationship about three months before our first date(it was a bad breakup with her ex(her ex GF, she's bi) serially cheating), but I was looking for something serious and she came around.
Things have come up since then, that my older sister has called red flags like her jealousy (i.e. thinking I am cheating, why I am active on Instagram but hadn't texted her back, she saw a water bottle she didn't recognize and thought it was some girls) and her mood swings(things cause her to have "lows" but she tries to hide it (which I always can read her) and that we eventually talk about but I have to ask directly and reassure her that she can tell me.. everytime). She will also randomly think things are wrong or I am avoiding her when I am just busy with school or its nothing. There have been times when I needed space but hadn't said it and she asks what's wrong and I tell her. These things come up and are red flags for me but we talk about them and she says she will work on it and for the most part it's gotten better but they still come up to a lesser degree. This scares me. I have dealt with mental illness myself and consider myself a self-mediated/professionally-assisted success case. I have flaws of course but I do not see them causing problems for us and neither does she because I have asked and I try and correct what I could see causing a problem. I have also talked about how I hope to phase out TV as a pastime and pick up other hobbies but she said it wasn't feasible to not relax some times. I disagree other hobbies can't be relaxing and unwinding, I think we're all just addicted to TV.
Now to what I eluded to in the title. I feel as if we could stay together for a long time, could get married and that scares me. She is amazing; she is self-aware, likes the same kind of music as me, likes the same movies, dissecting movies, she likes video games, we go running together, enjoy food together, have great sex, both are level headed and both the youngest in our family and we sort of get our family dynamics. The anxiety sets in when I think her jealously will never stop, she's not what I would have described as my type physically like she's taller than me and her teeth are crooked (stuff that shouldn't matter and I know that)(don't get me wrong I am attracted to her but she is also only the third women I have slept with and I fear I am missing out), her anxiety will get worse and start affecting us doing things, and I feel like she doesn't encourage me to be a better person. She is very content with sitting around and watching TV during any leisure time(some time all day) and I hate sitting all day. She seemingly has no interest in cooking our own food and we eat out frequently and I hate wasting that money(being good with money is important to me).
I am in love with her but worry my life would be over if I stayed with her and my life wouldn't be what I wanted it to be with those things if they didn't subside. I also worry that the good things about her are things I will never find in anyone else and these bad things are just the price I will pay for finding someone I get along with so well. She is my first girlfriend in adulthood(even through college).
TL;DR: We've been together for a year and things have come up which I would call redflags but she says she will work on them but they still come up(in smaller doses so far). I am anxious these things will never go away but we could get married if things stayed good. I worry my life is over for this reason and my life won't be what I want it to be because of these "redflags"(or yellowflags as we have talked them out) but I fear these are small prices to pay for some I get along with so well.
submitted by ThrowRA_surfer to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 04:38 Gamefreak3525 Gaming PC ~ $2000 USD Budget

Hello everyone! I've been limited to using my laptops for PC gaming, but after noticing most of the games I played the most on my PS4 were available on PC, I've decided to move over to PC for the next generation.
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
70% gaming, 30% design.
Gaming - 4K, 30 FPS, Max settings
For PS5/Series X-level titles, I'm willing to settle for 1080p if needed to keep within the budget.
Design
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
I'd prefer to keep this within $2000, but if PS5/Series X-like titles are that demanding, I'm willing to increase to $2500.
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
I'll probably start buying within a week after I pick up my paychecks.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
I don't really have anything I can reuse for this, so I basically need everything aside from a monitor. To clarify, I'll need a tower, gaming keyboard and mouse (wireless if possible; if not, with a cord of at least 10 feet or can be swapped for longer ones), WiFi card with Bluetooth (just making sure on this, Ethernet's not an option) , OS, and a USB hub.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
I will be purchasing in the US. There is a Microcenter within an hour's drive, so I'm willing to check that out.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Monitor- Insignia 55" LED 4K UHD Smart Fire TV Edition TV (yes, I know it's not a real gaming monitor, but I prefer large screens nor do I have the space for a proper one)
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
I do not have plans to overclock.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
I definitely want an SSD for the main drive (I'd like 2TB for this) and an large HDD for other files (at least 4TB). I'd like a liquid cooling system or at least a very quiet fan.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Mid-size tower for sure. If possible, I'd like a black and red case; otherwise, just black is fine. No windows or LED lighting on the case. Getting a black and red keyboard and mouse would be nice, either natural or with RBG lighting.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Just vanilla Windows 10.
Extra info or particulars:
This will be my first time building a PC, so forgive me if I'm overlook anything.
submitted by Gamefreak3525 to buildmeapc [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 23:03 Damagedyouthhh Getting feelings off my chest

First of all just want to state as far as I know my ex has my reddit info and would get updates on my posts and comments because when he got a new phone and couldn’t access his Apple ID I let him temporarily use mine. I don’t know if he’s deleted Reddit or not, but I’d be glad if he read this. I just want to rant a bit as I’m officially going to move on from letting him control my emotions and my life.
I started dating my ex when I was 15 and I’m going to be 20 in a couple days, and we broke up about a month ago. He was my first everything, boyfriend, lover, sex, hell even friendship, I had never had a friend like him. I spent my entire life feeling invisible, unseen by the majority of people, even those closest to me. Right before I met him I went through some bullying and therefore my self esteem was weak. I thought I was the weirdest fucking person because I liked fanfiction, watching youtubers, staying inside on my computer all day, up until I met him and his friends and I was drawn out of my shell.
He loved all the things about me I hated, called me beautiful, he truly SAW me. Every part even things I didn’t know were in me. I can’t tell if it’s because 15- onward is just a age of great individuation, or if it’s because being accompanied by a person who could see me helped me to see myself. I’m not sure, but either way, this is the one thing I am grateful for out of our relationship. That I learned and grew and damnit, I loved with everything I had. I went to bed at night floating because he was in my mind, inside my heart, I thought I saw him truly too.
I have this belief that you can’t ever know a person fully. Simply, it’s not possible with language, human nature, there is always more even we sometimes don’t know ourselves. But with him, I the barriers were gone. I felt he knew me deeply, and it was the same for him. Our connection made me passionate, safe, it was a warmth in me that I believed in even when we were fighting, when I was angry.
When he cheated on me it was the greatest blow I’ve ever been dealt, physically, mentally, emotionally. He reached inside me and took everything. I walked in on him in bed with her, and something in me fell, it was the worst feeling I’d ever had. The shock, the torment, the deep inner pain, it didn’t start to lessen until a couple weeks after.
When he looked in my eyes there was sadness in his, but the connection was severed in that moment. The thing I treasured was an illusion built by my own love, but now I see how utterly valuable that feeling was, and that I am capable of feeling that for a person, is something I am grateful for. I know by decimating that connection, he did me a favor by proving he wasn’t worthy of that feeling.
I was willing to forgive him and rebuild at first. That first week I saw him on three separate occasions, and I would say , ‘what happened to our future? The family we wanted?’ And he would say he still wanted that.
He was saying he wanted space to figure himself out alone, that he didn’t want her, that he wanted to become better for me. Then he would ask to kiss me, and I wouldn’t let him at first, but eventually we did and things escalated and we had sex. I wanted the closeness from past, the feeling that his heart and body were with me.
But I found out a week after D Day that he was still talking to her, and that’s when he told me, ‘I don’t love you anymore, I like her.’
When I found out he tried manipulating me saying ‘ You kept saying you loved me, I felt I had to say it back because I didn’t want to hurt you.’
Making it my fault he lied to me again. Giving me a second D Day, except the second time it was just nails in the old wound. I trusted him, and he lied again. I said if he were me, he would’ve walked away long ago. He said ‘Then why are you still here?’
In that moment I could tell that connection I felt was inside me, that he didn’t see me. I said ‘ you don’t see me.’ And he tried claiming he still did, which hurt me further.
If you truly saw my value still, then why do you want someone else?
Even then, I didn’t walk away. I said what he had with her was lust, and that when it was over he should come back. I know, I didn’t respect myself.
Then it still didn’t end. I saw an old high school friend at a party and we hit it off well, some light flirting happens. Then my ex texts me calling me a homie hopper because that’s his old friend too, and even then I was kind, saying there was nothing between me and that guy and that I would never do that to him. The next day he was apologetic saying he deserved it, still not believing me when I said I wanted nothing with the friend.
The first few weeks there was an aching pain in my chest, I’ve never felt emotional pain so physically, it was almost fascinating to me to find that when people said sadness hurt, it actually did. The pain was unbearable at first. I cried like a freaking baby for a while. It took a long time for my own thoughts to stop triggering me, the invasive thoughts of him having sex with her, the memories of us being happy, the old him I wished was still real. I felt his old self had died, and the person he was now was a monster.
He posted a pic with her on social media and I could see they were trying to trigger me again, just by the wording, ‘stay out of my business.’ The Taft that he never posted pics with me. After he’s the one who wanted to stay friends. He doesn’t deserve my friendship. I unfollowed him on everything, getting ready to block because now I’ve reached the proper conclusion.
I didn’t deserve for him to do any of this to me. And he did me a favor by not letting me fix what he broke. He’s a sad, aimless, lonely fucking person and he’s not my problem anymore. I can’t tell him how much he hurt me now, how horrible he was, and I don’t ever want to have to go through seeing him again to say it anyway. There’s better, kinder, trustworthy people out there and I’m glad I’m not stuck with someone who is not any of those things.
The memories still hurt, I still miss him sometimes. His name hurts. I keep wondering what he’s doing. But I also have accepted it’s not my business anymore what he does, and I prefer it that way, finally. I’m almost going to cry from finally fucking feeling this acceptance, making peace with the fact that what we had is gone and it’s okay, it’s not the end of the world. We lived together, saw him every day, told him everything, and getting used to not having any of that took a while.
I know it’s still so recent and yea, it still freaking hurts. But now I don’t randomly break down in tears at work or during my Zoom classes. I finally am starting to stop comparing myself to the new girl, finally starting to realize he made the biggest mistake of his life and I’m the real treasure he abandoned, and it doesn’t matter whether he ever sees that or not. I’m finally free from his clutches.
At first, everything had him in it. The sky, the clouds, music, trees, the ocean, tv shows, my own house. It was painful being alive and having to see these memories before me, stabbing me over and over in body and soul. But I saw a quote on Reddit a long time ago, about what to do if you miss someone.
A redditor said something like, ‘If they left you, every beautiful quality you saw in them was really inside you and for them to leave all that, warrants you not needing to miss them.’
I am starting to see that. The beauty of our love was that I was there for it too, the things we experienced cannot be replicated, because it will not be with me. The world reminded me of him because those things were things I treasured, and I wanted him there to see them together. But I’ve learned my passion and love extends beyond him and they’re all things that I hold dear no matter what person comes into or leaves my life.
I know if I were to be cheated on again, I wouldn’t ever be able to stay. We are stronger than our urges, we can be stronger than our mistakes, and if he was to change, realize what he did wrong, and become a better person, that is the best thing he could ever do for me from here on out. I cannot help but be empathetic to the person I once thought was forever.
But the person he is right now is a person I cannot love or respect, and for once, I’m excited to be alone. I’m excited to work on that connection to myself. And no matter what, whether we are with someone or not, we must always treasure that connection we have to ourselves.
I’m glad I’ve reached a period where I see my value, and I finally see how despicable he is. And it feels so good. And I’ve learned to let the memories stay as they are, to not be tainted. He did so well to ruin it I feel, without even trying. When I think about the pain this caused me, I think, how can a human do this to another without remorse? I cannot love someone so cold, and I am glad a person so disgusting is gone. For once, I am so glad!
submitted by Damagedyouthhh to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 22:43 AlanShoreEsq Small Form Factor AMD server for Plex $800-1200USD

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
I will be running linux on this computer. I plan to run plex, HDHomeRunner and have it connect to my NAS with all my digital copies of my movies.

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$800-1200USD

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
Between 0 and 10 days.

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
United States. Everything will have to be shipped. There are no technology stores near me besides BestBuy.

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
No overclocking

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
I would like to run Plex with conversion and HDHomeRunner for over the AIR TV capture to stream to my TVs.

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
I would prefer the smallest form factor possible without being unreasonable. I consider unreasonable having the GPU on the outside of the case

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
I plan to use linux either Ubuntu/Debian/Fedora or if I have to be an ultimate neckbeard: arch

Extra info or particulars:
Happy to run linux to use these old parts

Edited: fixed formatting, typos and ram numbers.
submitted by AlanShoreEsq to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 21:26 ThomsonandThompson34 Personal Work/Light Gaming build request

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Civilization VI GTA V (Don't care about online if that means anything) EU4/CK3/Any/all the paradox studios. PES NBA 2K PUBG
Graphics are not the highest priority but I have a 65" 4k tv I would like to hook up to play a game of PES or 2K with a friend every once in awhile. I know I probably won't get the full performance of this tv without significantly upping my budget but thought I would mention.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by ThomsonandThompson34 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 20:18 Liquidlunch27 A cautionary tale about how desperation made me hurt someone who didn't deserve it.

I’m fairly certain that on some level I am an awful person. Stepping into adulthood I find that the most valuable lesson that life can give you is teaching you just how much of your own bullshit you really believe.
Growing up I always felt a little distant, though who doesn’t indulge in some level of teen angst? At around the age of 15 I was convinced that I was some kind of special “Holden Caulfield” archetype, that I was an enlightened teen who had seen through the veil and that despite my age I knew all there was to know about people; I was an adult damnit! At least that’s what I thought. even though I’ve been bullshitting to people for years that I had readCatcher in the Rye. Though if I had read it back then I don’t think I would have realised that Holden isn’t a character you are meant to necessarily agree with. I would have jumped up on my chair clapping and shouting “Yes! That is me! That is me!” because I was a pretentious little scrote. Still am mostly.
Things are safe when you’re a teen. At least, they were for me. I would pretend I wasn’t at school and that I was at a job. I had an obsession with being treated like an adult and couldn’t stand to be condescended, even though people weren’t usually condescending me. I was quick to fly off the handle and desperate to “win” arguments, even if what I was saying wasn’t true or if I didn’t believe what I was saying anyway, it didn’t matter. I would switch sides just for the sake of arguing because I wanted to win.
But in all my belief that at age 16 after one completely sexless and very short relationship and some general world experience that I was “different” and knew about doing adult things by pretending to be existential (that’s a thing adult’s do, right?) I had never been in a position to hurt anyone. I was in a tutorial mode and I refused to accept it because that would mean acknowledging that I didn’t know everything.
So that brings me to the passing of this year and my first real taste of “loving”.
At the start of my degree I was so desperate to get laid that I would actively get depressed about it. I built an identity around losing my virginity and felt despair that all my friends were losing theirs and suddenly were appearing more “adult” than me. I remember sitting on my friend’s bed at his house and knowing that sex had happened there and that my friend now seemed so much more different to me, and I didn’t like it. Of course, this is a horrible mentality to have and doesn’t make a single shred of sense but it lead me to desperately scrolling through tinder every night; I think I must have averaged around 500 swipes a day and I cranked the range up as far as it would allow.
Dates came and went with a few notable disasters; the smell of coffee shops and movie theatres haunt me now. But in the autumn, I got a reply. She was from Bolton and we would talk long into the night. she was studying fine arts and would go into long details about deadlines and takeout Chinese. She was sweet, and she’d been dicked around for five years by her ex.
Some awkward phone sex and a few jokes later I agreed to meet her. I didn’t care that it was a two-hour drive, I was desperate. I met her outside her house, and we drove to a park. We walked around for a bit and sat at a bench, I pulled up the courage to put my arm round her and she took hold of my hand. We must have sat in the car together after that for about four hours. We made out and took the piss out of the obvious drug deal that was happening in the car park a few spaces In front of us. It must have been midnight when I finally left, I didn’t get back home until 2AM. I stopped off at a McDonalds in Uttoxeter and a taxi driver started talking to me while I waited In the line. The place was empty aside from a table of around five unattended kids who were being really shitty. We both thought it was weird they were in there at 2AM. As I left, I heard one of them knocking on the glass behind me trying to get my attention, I didn’t turn around, I guessed he probably just wanted to flip me off.
She came down to Derby the next time, we went to a bar I liked, and she had cocktails, I drank beer. The conversation lasted well into the night but in the back of my mind I knew what was coming. She had agreed to stop over since it was too late to get a train and I was drinking so couldn’t drive her back. By the time we got back to mine I knew she had decided she wanted to fuck me and thus began the most awkward sex I think anyone has ever received. Firstly, I was lying to her, I told her I wasn’t a virgin, and secondly, I couldn’t get it up. But she was cool about it and thought it was pretty funny and miraculously we ended up carrying on. She rolled over me and went downstairs to the toilet. The great victory I thought I would achieve upon losing my virginity didn’t come. There was no Final Fantasy victory theme, there was no closure, instead there was worry. Because in my own desperation I had found someone who actually seemed to care about me, and I didn’t know how to feel, I hadn’t prepared for it. I had played someone for my own gain, and I didn’t have the balls to admit that to myself just yet.
Further dates came, sex happened, it scared me. In the blink of an eye I had agreed to go to Blackpool with her and get a hotel for the fireworks. Blackpool was a shithole, but the fireworks were pretty and we ate at a restaurant where the staff were forced to wear Hawaiian shirts and the TV behind the bar played the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie on a loop. It looked like hell to work at.
I remember getting the train up to her, I didn’t drive this time. I passed through Tutbury and the smell from a Nescafé factory wafted in through the windows. The whole train smelled of coffee. She was holding onto my arm and half asleep and I remember desperately hoping that I would fall in love by the time we reached the next station, because she certainly was. She looked up at me with a contented smile that made my heart sink, she gave me the same look at the firework’s display. Here I was with a woman who was falling in love with me and I had no idea how I felt. She sealed the deal later that night, turning over in bed and telling me those three words that should bring joy but instead gave me fear. But I was cowardly and returned those same words, but I didn’t know how I meant them.
I would come to say them many times over, and every time I lied when I said “I love you”. But she didn’t, she meant them. More dates came and went, I met her family, her pets. She had a three-legged dog I was fond of. More dates, and then the night. The night she asked me why I fell for her. I told her the truth. I couldn’t lie. Not anymore, not when it would only hurt more later than it would now. The tears came quick and for the first time in my life I had known consequences. The universe melded into one cohesive form overhead and melted down through the atmosphere and through the window and told me, “Look what you did dickhead”. I sat there for about thirty minutes neither of us said anything the whole time, she just wept.
“I think you should go” came next. I nodded and walked across the room and picked up my bags. I didn’t leave, I stood there for another twenty minutes. she would glance over to see if I was still there amidst the tears until finally, I dropped the bags.
“I can’t get in that car and drive home after this” I said, or something to that effect, some cheesy line of dialogue I probably stole from a movie, but I meant it. I had to confront what I had done. I couldn’t let that stew in my mind, I didn’t want to send long texts in the morning and pretend we’d never seen each other. I didn’t want to disappear without confronting it directly.
In my mind I wanted to talk to this part of my life, I wanted to pull back the scenes and let it know that I knew it was there and that I wouldn’t leave
It just yet. We talked for a while, I apologised over and over again. She also apologised over and over again and each time I told her not to. Why should she? She didn’t do anything wrong. Like they say in the movies I’d fucked someone up. And in one brief moment, all the moral superiority and angst I’d built up over the years crumbled to a pile of whining dust.
I was Holden’s “phonies” (no I still haven’t read the book), I had hurt someone, real people, real pain. Well Tom, you wanted to be an adult so badly? Welcome to the real-world asshole, hope you’re happy.
Don't be assholes, don't become so focused on getting laid that you hurt people, they don't deserve it. take it from me. a few more years of sexlessness is better than the guilt of hurting someone who genuinely cared about you.
submitted by Liquidlunch27 to idonthavesex [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 18:16 LordRavenholm ENT, Episode 3x23, Countdown


-= ENT, Season 3, Episode 23, Countdown =-

While the Reptilians force Hoshi to decipher a launch code, the Primates, Arboreals and Archer think of a way to stop the Xindi weapon.
 

EAS IMDB TV.com SiliconGold's Ranks
8/10 8.7/10 9.2 6th
 
submitted by LordRavenholm to StarTrekViewingParty [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 17:18 arimb1999 PC Build for Engineering Student

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
I'm an engineering student, so mostly used for CAD, programming, and engineering tools. Also watching tv/movies and internet browsing. I don't do any gaming so intense graphics and frame rates don't matter.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
About 3000 NIS (~$750 USD after VAT and import taxes), though it could go to 3500 NIS (~$850 USD) especially if it includes a monitor and/or mechanical keyboard.
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
In the next few weeks, though I heard that I should wait until the Ryzen 4th gen comes out next month for prices to drop on the 3rd gen processors.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
The tower is the most important part (obviously). I'm also looking for a large monitor and/or mechanical keyboard at a good price (as I said above) but that isn't a requirement.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
Israel. No microcenter nearby. KSP, TMS, and Wellcom are local retailers with English websites that have VAT and import taxes included already. Most Newegg products charge a $250 flat rate international shipping fee so that's not a good option.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
May be reusing a keyboard, mouse, monitor, or other universal peripherals. Not reusing any internal components.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Not interested in overclocking.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
At least 3 monitors, SSD for OS and 2+ TB HDD for storage, wifi/bluetooth
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Mid-tower case that looks decent, but doesn't need to be anything fancy. Black case is preferred but not required. Don't really care about windows or LEDs (in fact, any exposed LEDs should be easily turned off so it can run in my room at night without outshining the sun)
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Doesn't need to include Windows, I should be able to get a free copy of Windows 10 from my school.
Extra info or particulars:
It would be great if whatever parts are available to buy locally in Israel instead of having to pay high shipping and import taxes.
I more-or-less put together a list that meets my needs already, the main thing I'm missing is a graphics card. For my budget I want to keep it on the cheaper side. I don't do any gaming so it doesn't need to be powerful, but at the same time I want to be able to use at least 3 monitors and run CAD programs smoothly.
Thanks in advance for your help :)
Edit, also: * Is there a significant speed difference between budget M.2 NVMe SSD and 2.5” SATA III SSD? Is it worth the extra money?
submitted by arimb1999 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 16:17 a_stoned_goat It All Works Out in the End

Hello all. I have just recently gotten married to my wife after being together for four years. I would like to share the story of the relationship I was in just before my wife and how it ended. There are two main reasons I would like to share even though this isn't very recent: First, I am curious if anyone else had a relationship end similarly, as my ex had many physical and mental disorders that made it difficult. And second, I would like others to see that eventually, you will find someone, even if it is hard for you right now. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, trust me.
So the year was 2012, I was just barely 18. I met a girl that was 17 at a party and we ended up talking and started officially dating a couple weeks later. Things were great for the most part. But a couple months in, there were signs this was going to be difficult. The first thing I noticed was how overdramatic and clingy she was. If one of my other exes name was mentioned on tv, I would have to hold and comfort her or she would get pissed. Same thing if we drove through one of my exes towns. One time, I was watching a movie with friends for a couple hours. I get a call from her screaming at me that I didnt text or call her for a couple hours and that I need to be talking with her constantly. So to make her feel better, I tried including her more with my friends even though she lived an hour away. Eventually, she convinced me that all my friends were horrible and they didnt treat us well enough. For example, her and one of my friends were racing for shotgun in a car. He reached down to grab the door handle and accidentally brushed against her ass or something. She said nothing till later when we were alone. She said, "your friend assaulted me and you did nothing". I saw the whole thing and tried to explain it to her, and she still wouldnt have it and would not allow me to see this friend again, even though he apologized and whatever. She would continue to blow things out of proportion like this with my friends til I had none left. Next, she convinced me to take savings bonds from my parents safe. They were in my name but they were meant for other stuff. Long story short, it got me kicked out and I had to move in with her and her parents and sister. I tried to mend fences from a far with my parents. We went to go see them once and my ex and mom got into a verbal fight and my ex threatened to call the cops for some reason. My mom and her reached for the phone at the same time and it caused scratches on each other. So she then kept telling people my mom assaulted her. I couldnt talk to my family for months.
Another time, her and I got into an argument where she pulled me by my sweater and punched my head twice. All I did in response was try to keep her off me by holding my arms out. This next part is so horribly fucked up. She went around and told her parents and friends that I was the instigator and that it was ME being abusive. We went to hang out with her friends in the woods one night and one of them hit me and I was almost jumped and stabbed because her friends thought I was some abusive jerk because of what she told them. She had a moment of clarity and started hitting them so they wouldnt stab me. In response, they held her for a sec so she wouldnt hit them. At the end, they stole our phones and smashed them by throwing them at my car. One of them ended up going to jail for a year.
Next, she spun this story so that it sounded like three men assaulted her and i did nothing to help. At this point, her family hates me, my family hates me, and I have no friends anymore. She was so convinced by her lies that I was a bad person that she cheated on me and everyone she knew cheered her on. I also came home one day and she was cutting my name in her leg yelling how i did this to her because i was "so bad". She had a tumblr account which she also had posts that were 50/50 saying how amazing I am because i take care of her despite her conditions and doctors appointments, but also how "horrible and abusive" I was. She ended up getting in a fight with her sister one night, so we used all our savings to move out. She then all of a sudden came out as polygamous and said I needed to let her date others or just leave. I tried it for a few months, but i couldnt take it and we ended up breaking up like five or six months after moving out. I was then left with no money and she refused to let me get half of my stuff, ps3, clothes, weed smoking devices, etc. She had fibromyalgia, borderline personality disorder, manic depression, chronic fatigue, migraines, and all kinds of other things and was constantly on different meds. She used to cut and had gone to hospitals before me. I tried my best, I really did because i understood she had disorders. She ended up leaving me anyway. We were engaged at one point and we were together about 3.5 years. She was a hurricane that upended and changed my whole life at the time.
After the breakup, I met my wife and repaired the damage with my family. Had anyone else had experience with an ex like this? If you are going through a rough relationship end, know that I am here and you will persevere and find what you are meant to.
submitted by a_stoned_goat to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 15:57 jrwrita $800: Little gaming, more coding and video editing.

1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.
Mostly day to day stuff, youtube, email, etc along with python, video editing, and little to no gaming. Might play starcraft 2 every now and then.
2. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?
Would like it to be $700-800.
3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
I want to buy soon. Not a rush though, can wait a month max.
4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Everything except monitor, keyboard and mouse. I would prefer to use a good SSD over HDD (as I can use external hard drive)
5. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.
Reusing monitors, mouse and keyboard. I also have external hard drive with 4tb. So I will need a decent amount of usb and hdmi ports. Wouldnt mind the ability to add internal HDD down the line or now if it fits the budget.
6. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line?
No.
7. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, Wi-Fi, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
SSD, Wifi, I would like to be able to stream to Smart tv.
8. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
No, function over aesthetics. However would like the ability to upgrade over time.
9. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? Note: some post-secondary students can get Windows 10 for free.
Yes, unless I can get from Ebay for cheap? I will need microsoft office(excel, word, etc).
10. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?
Swap parts later. But not for a couple years?
11. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards, etc)
No preference, aslong as it works fast :)
12. What are the specs of your old PC / laptop? Do you want to see if it can be upgraded instead? If so, paste its build from PCPartPicker here.
I have a thinkpad laptop, i5-3320M CPU @ 2.60Gz. 8 gb ram. 250 gb SSD. Intel(R) HD Graphics 4000. I dont even know if thats a card
13. Extra info or particulars:
not that I can think of.
submitted by jrwrita to bapccanada [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 05:12 JAnimaze $850 Gaming/Streaming/Editing build

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
Play games like Modern Warfare, FF15, DMC5, Cyberpunk 2077, GTA 5, Far Cry 5, The Division 1 & 2 with medium to max settings 120+fps. Editing programs like Davinci Resolve. Streaming.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$750-850 USD
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
ASAP.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Tower only.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
USA, NC. No microcenter
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Cheap logitech mouse and keyboard. Insignia 60hz 1080p tv (will upgrade later)
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Nope
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
SSD and HDD preferably.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Mid-tower and if possible LED lighting
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
No
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by JAnimaze to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 03:17 JAnimu25 $800 gaming/streaming/editing build

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
Play games like Modern Warfare, FF15, DMC5, Cyberpunk 2077, GTA 5, Far Cry 5, The Division 1 & 2 with medium to max settings 120+fps. Emulators like Dolphin. Editing programs like Davinci Resolve.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
$750-800 USD
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
ASAP.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Tower only.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
USA, NC. No microcenter
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Cheap logitech mouse and keyboard. Insignia 60hz 1080p tv (will upgrade later)
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Nope
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
SSD and HDD preferably.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Mid-tower and if possible LED lighting
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
No
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by JAnimu25 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 01:47 miffedaboutlife I'm at my breaking point (looooong)

So to preface this post.. My apartment burned down in January. My ex bestie hooked me up w a place to stay, basically a stranger, 27m. There has been a lot of other stuff I even talk about on my YouTube, with my ex friends, harassment, drama, bullying, lies of all sorts, and a man who literally wanked it at work on the public warehouse floor, open floor plan, he still works there after I reported him bc the cameras only hold footage 30 days, and it's because he's an exhibitionist and he wanted to see if he could get away with it, regardless of him working with photo gifts and pictures of children. So this in mind with my stress levels with the bullying that went on until like the last few months when it stopped since probably.. last Nov. I have also been dealing with the main problem of my post this was a preface for. So my stranger of a housemate fell inlove w me about a week after I moved in. I was emotionally compromised and scared to reject him because I was going through the above (actively) and still kinda in shock. We cuddled a little, but it wasn't sexual, I just needed to be held and he wanted to be close to me and I told him I didn't know how I felt about anything and he didn't care, and because I didn't know what to do and I didn't have my best friend to hold me and I was so stressed and scared and, reluctant to be homeless, I let him hold me. At the time I was sorting stuff out that was damaged, dealing with torment, and my ESA Pepper (my dog, name short for peppermint) was unable to be with me (oh and stress from the fire plus old age killed my hamster at that time so Pep was and is kinda all I had). I tried talking with "friends" about it and because I had wished and expressed my wish for a partner they criticized me for not "being greatful for what I had been given" and essentially not reciprocating the feelings. Yes that was the dirty wanker who said that, a 28m. I felt like, metaphorically, just because the princess was saved by the knight, did not mean she had to give her kingdom and herself away like in the stories. I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship and he said it was fine he'd wait. He bought me flowers and told me he loved me and was "sweet". However he was creepy too. I am going to voice type the rest because I'm getting to emotional to type but I really need to get it off my chest how my housemate refuses to respect my autonomy, my very body, and my stuff. .. There was one incident where I was wearing a dress, I typically do not wear pants unless I work because I feel most like myself in dresses and skirts I wear them almost exclusively and I consider pants to be work clothes and when I don't feel like a person, that may sound stupid but I like to dress over the top I think, I was wearing a simple red dress and honestly it's hit miss if I wear underwear maybe too much info but it's relevant because I was sitting on the couch on the far side closest to the wall which I didn't really like doing anyway because it makes me feel trapped I have anxiety I have all these other problems and the fire and caused it to be elevated and then I had all the stress going on with my friend group he comes into the room saw me sitting on the couch he sits on the floor in front of me I don't know how to respond because this is his couch. And yes I have my couch but it's away from the TV and I was watching TV. he sits directly in front of me on the floor facing with his back to me I don't know how to respond cuz I don't want him between my legs and I'm scared and don't know how to do anything so what I do is I pull my legs up and Kris Kross and just pull my dress over my knee keeps. he kept reaching back and pulling my legs to pull over his shoulders and to try and pull my feet over his shoulders or onto thsn and I didn't know what was going on and I keep pulling back and pulling away an they didn't stoppeand it keeps doing it and I say stop and then I flip out I'm just like stop it, do not do this, his response says “ hey man be cool” to which I am extremely angry and express how uncomfortable he's making me and he's frustrated as to why I'm frustrated so he finally moved one thing to know about me is I'm asexual I also really don't like people touching me usually if I need someone to touch me then something is very very wrong I'm not just a germaphobe I just physically do not like the feel of touch and I'm touch adverse it is awful, I just only allow generally family that I like to hug me, a partner of my choice , and like a best friend on a good day, on a bad day maybe nobody -maybe not even my partner -can touch me. I don't like people touching me, the fact that I'm already dealing with this and like I understood when the one time when he was asked if they could but this was different and I said stop and then they didn't want to and then they were mad and it was a whole flustered evening about ordering pizza and I was like I really don't care I'm just annoyed and when I'm annoyed I can't eat and anxiety makes it worse that makes me nauseous so I'm not even hungry. the most uncomfortable incident. another was when I just dyed my hair technically I just bleached it was just before I was going to start a long-term conditioning dye treatment to make my hair purple, well, I wanted to make sure that I bleached all of my hair. So I asked him if he could take a picture of the back of my head because I bleached it at home. I always do my hair myself. I cut it myself. I style it myself. I've bleached and dyed it before but I was trying a new brand of bleach that would be stronger to help with my hair which is dark brown almost black. and he said sure no problem so he took a picture of my hair and help me take the picture from the back moving forward, he's showing me the pictures and he Scrolls too far cuz he goes too fast and it goes forward like four or five pictures in where he has pictures of my hair and you can see pictures of me sitting on the couch next to him a few nights before watching TV in my pajamas and my pajamas may be a bit revealing, I guess, but that be victim-blaming I can wear with the f*** I want in my own house technically I'm a nudist but I wear clothes all the time because people are perverts and I want everyone to leave me alone in regards to this I'm wearing a vintage Peach gown with a V cut that is ankle length the pictures of me sitting on the couch from where he is sitting on the other side of the couch his spot which took a long time to get him to sit on the other side of the couch yes it's his couch and I felt uncomfortable telling him where to sit on his couch but he likes to sit directly beside me his leg touching my leg and scooting as close as he could even when I scooted away so it took a long time to get him to sit three to five feet away on the other side of the couch as I prefer it and I told him multiple times continuing the pictures weren't just of me sitting there they were progressively zooming in on my chest where they like just trying to get a better visual of my boobs and it was like he said oh I'm sorry I didn't realize that happened I didn't mean to take that many (!!!) I'll delete it and then he proceeded to delete thing is how would I know theyre gone because he is an Amazon Prime member what if he has it backed by his Amazon photos that comes free with Prime Membership he has a lot of electronics a lot of computer gadgets and gizmos and all kinds of like technological stuff,hes good with them. like I get some of it but some of it I don't he's far more intelligent in the technology world then I start what happens if you still have them and I realize he had been taking pictures of me a lot and I didn't catch on I didn't realize because like I just assume he's playing on his phone and sitting at an angle cuz he says he has a thing where he really likes to make eye contact when he's talking to you and I'm like okay I get it this is why it was so annoyed when he kept standing on my huge storage chest in my room when he walked in which a couple times he just walked in did not knock or say anything I've actually started locking my door because it was really uncomfortable ,anyway he would stand on the storage chest to talk to me and look at me while I'm in my bed and I'm like could you not one that chest is almost $100 and two it's got lots of sensitive religious material in it I'd rather you not like.. and he got pissed off I literally had to freak out on him and scream at him like Stop Standing on my furniture it's mine respect me and my stuff and he was pissed about it so I started putting stuff on top of it so that if he doesn't just burat in my room which he's done multiple times ,once just after I got done changing and so I've started storing random bulky junk on top so that he couldn't stand on it so when I first moved in he helped me when I started decorating he helped me put these fake flowers on the ceiling and all my co-workers told me to be worried he might have put cameras or some s*** and I don't believe he did but like I had to argue with him about how we were not in a domestic partnership I didn't want him to do my laundry had to argue with him about not taking pictures of me to which his response in the last part of it was that he could take pictures of me but he would take less pictures of me because he knows that I kind of like the attention. he would send me the the really good ones if he thought I might like them. and I'm like no I don't want you to take pictures of me unless you ask like that's different and what it's like and I I get that nervouslaugh and like scared smile like I'm afraid to do anything like I don't know if it's like no obviously doesn't work, every time I've asked him not to do something he says well I'm going to do it anyway like when he lifted me I hate being lifted I've been lifted multiple times cuz I guess although I don't believe I am that I am a tiny person 145 to 150 lb 5 1 I guess I'm considered small but I guess I'm not that heavy and so people pick me up and move me when he Lifted Me multiple times and I told him how I absolutely detest being picked up cuz I've been thrown before by people and thought it was funny because of my size and so it makes me nervous I said not to do it he said he would do it only when he had to that's really annoying thing because obvi reasons I honestly haven't been talking to him I work a 12-hour job on the weekends he works at 8 hour job during the week so we really don't cross paths I've haven't been talking to him because he weirded me out multiple times and I just can't deal with it to make matters worse I did start dating I started dating a guy who I used to hate quite honestly because I thought he was a trash human being i thought he was a track human being because my ex best friends who started like harassing me told me he was atrocious he had sex with a girl who he used to be in a serious relationship as a one-night fling because he missed her and she missed him but he didn't want a serious thing he used to be a trashman being because he had sex with someone (not knowing they have mental illness that causes like instability and poor judgment) but they were not aware and when they did find out felt like a trash peraon theyve since grown a lot, and why we actually connected is because they were the only person out of all friends and people I know besides this guy who was trying to like fuck (creep) that actually cared about what was happening to me and not only that but even though he's a very touchy he respected my space and my boundaries more than most anyone that I've met when I say not to get near me he would sit back and not touch me even when it was obviously painful for him just to sit by and watch me cry as I express all of the trauma that I feel in all of the pain I feel by the betrayal and physical trauma that I've gone through in this year because it was ongoing and had at the time felt unending we fell in love it was three months into the roommate ordeal at least six months since the most tragic event in my life involving polyamory and lies and gossip sabotage and just general like absurdity moving forward I've cut out all of these nasty people they literally told me if I wanted to stop I can move all these people to tell me if I wanted to stop I can remove myself that I should be involved with anyone anyway and they've literally treated me like a trash human saying like why would you date her why would you be interested in her oh brother how ypuve fallen to be with her really you should have standards I've heard them say these things this person ignored all that because they think I'm a good person and I fell in love with that person. theyve been there for me it was a lot. I was afraid to even be with them because everyone hated them and everyone was hating me and I felt like they just went to burn us at the stake or something absurd. he's risen in popularity, they care about his welfare more than me now, so that's a plus i could go into more detail but wanted to keep the relationship a secret for several months because I didn't feel it was their right to know that I was happy i also really didn't want my housemate to know because I was afraid he would try to kick me out I'm learning he was very upset Beyond upset his main argument was that I should cook something or clean something and I need to be home more often and that he thought I didn't want a relationship and that he can't believe that I hid that from him that he felt played that he felt betrayed that he couldn't believe something like that from me and that he had had higher expectations for me I however didn't know what to say he'd invited my current boyfriend over to hang cuz we've been together for like 5 months now and very happy no problems at all before it was rare he had invited him over to hang out as friends and they have hung out as friends since but he's explicitly told me pretty much (before I hadn't invited him over at all) in a text he wasn't going to have him be over very much that I couldn't have him over as much as I thought I might be which I hadn't thought at all he also went as far as to text my boyfriend to tell him he couldn't spend the night when the house mate was out of town he texted my boyfriend repeatedly since I stopped responding to him when he was being possessive and creepy messaging my boyfriend to ask my whereabouts anytime I'm not home or if I'm late for work as absurd as saying before I started dating I was late for getting out of work so I got out at like 4 0 5 which I guess it's only 5 minutes but it makes a big difference when you have to get on the interstate and on extremely busy road put me behind I normally get home between 4:20 and 4:30 almost Clockwork I didn't get home until about 4:45 but I was on the main road almost home at 4:30 he text me( the housemate) to say are you not even coming home today at all and it's like like I'm a grown woman!yoire not my dad you're not my partner and I wouldn't tolerate this for my partner what the f*** I stopped responding to him because he kept asking where I was and we have actually had screaming matches I did most of the screaming because I was tired 12-hour shifts and then come home and I have to stand up because I can't even go upstairs to my room when I hate stairs to argue w someone about how I'm an introvert with antisocial and that's why when I get off work I am tired and not interested in a conversation not interested in hanging out that I don't owe him that hang out time this would end in him being like it's not a good thing you're antisocial you should get over it you should spend time with me and basically he would seem entitled to my time and my affection he even went so far as the one point he has depression just like I do he was crumbling onto the floor and leaving sporadic notes all over the place to tell me " I'll get better faster is if you hug me" and this was after we had issues. this was after the legs incident, this is after I had established I needed space, and I told him I wasn't comfortable with the emotional terrorism of requiring hugs or to be necessary to give him a hug to make him get better and get off the floor that I didn't feel comfortable and that I don't think it was fair of him to ask or require that of me I never required about cuddling when it was an option i was kinda comfortable, tolerant?, doing so I thought it was more like a friends thing cuz we do have friends who do like a cuddle puddle as they call it and HE asked me for that Comfort not me asking him I wasn't comfortable and he said I'd let him down how heartless could I be that I wouldn't give him that hug just to make him feel better I found super depressing notes in his room cuz I had some of my stuff in his room at the time because he had like no furniture at all cuz his last girlfriend surprise surprise was schizophrenic she did have an episode moved out because she thought he had like assaulted her in public and there were witnesses to prove this was false the surprise is that she felt trapped and controlled and she didn't like his attitude or the way that he micromanaged her and with her illness and not being able to get out all the time and being heavily medicated and the way he is cuz he is very OCD and well he'd just move things to where he thinks they should be a lot, even if they're not his ,even if they're in their proper spot, and even if you asked him not to. he will repeatedly move them I've taken to keeping all of my things in my room even the things that I need in specific spots because as many times as you tell him not to do something he won't stop so to move forward I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for someone with schizophrenia space and time displacement that she usually has and all these other little micro problema to have everything moved around you without knowing where it's going where it's been if you moved it it's the one else moved or if you're crazy I feel crazy living with him and all I have is anxiety depression I've dealt with abuse emotional abuse so much bulshit and then I deal with him dealing with me I don't know what I'm supposed to do most recently he keep leaving his bike on my couch like leaning against it with the pedal being pushed against it getting the dirt that's on the pedal and the fact that the pedals very abrasive and kind of sharp leaning it against couch which was a Christmas graduation birthday combined gifts because I really wanted something that was mine and that wasn't complete trash like my old couch which had Springs and wood breaking out of it cuz it was a $40 couch from Goodwill which he knows the importance of my couch this one was an expensive nice quality that had that all of my requirements and even some of my requirements are ridiculous because I was in a bad place and just wanted something that wouldn't stain and that my ex wouldn't hate because I didn't want to listen to him complain about it I love the couch it's so comfortable and it was actually my bed for about a month before I got settled in after the fire is was expensive and I didn't want it to get messed up he disrespected my stuff oh it should be known he also thinks that if he has not witnessed me practice doing something if he is not watching me that I did not do it it did not happen it does not matter what I say I like to walk my dog in the front yard in the early morning because it has a light I go to work at 4 a.m I wack my black dog in the dark in an area that is pretty close to the ghetto literally a guy in the house beside ours the house it's like one of those like a townhouse things but it's listed as an apartment but it's basically that I call it a house sometimes I don't like to walk her in the back there inthe dark morning because it's dark in the afternoon I walk her back there because it has more shade and it's cool so she doesn't hurt her Paws on any of the rocks and the walkways cuz she likes to use the walkway she's a smart dog to walk her in direct sunlight because she's a black dog and she gets overheated really easily and you can tell I told him not to leave in front of the door because it makes it hard to walk her to which he said it wasn't and issue because I don't use that door and that he'd lean against the couch if he forgot and basically oh well I've explained the dog bit before but it does not matter because he doesn't care another instance of having to deal with him as he thinks I never clean even though I'm constantly cleaning after him he doesn't see me when I told him that says I don't need an audience to know I've done something like what why does it matter if I watch you do it and after all this I really don't want him too cuz he creeps me out I know you're wondering why I haven't moved yet don't have the money I can't just move back with family and I don't have the money I'm looking with my friend right now but to be able to afford to live there I can't move somewhere that I'm going to risk losing my home and risk losing a place for me and my ESA to safely reside and I don't want to pick just anywhere not after the fire it was an electrical thing but because of certain circumstances can we blame the apartments i don't know what to do but one last thing I'd like to mention before you go into roasting or me or the guy or the guy that I mentioned above and if you want to know like more about it I can post links to me describing the fire situation to me describing the Pervert at work or me describing some of the issues I've dealt with like the drama I think it's like 15 to 30 minutes long it's just mostly me like complaining but it's my YouTube it's my blog I can do what I want no names are specified I'm tempted you know because it's like we're supposed to expose the pervert's right the ones who jerk off at their workstation while packaging pictures that obviously could go in Sunday schools or classrooms or in nurseries or another family room or the children might touch based off the content that is visible by us, the packaging and creators ,but I can't I can't bring myself to right now my best friend who condoned, it I can't bring myself to my best friend who recommended me to this guy who's a creeper who honestly when he was first taking pictures of me I tried to think of it like a live in Paparazzi instead of a live in stalker that I can't avoid and I'm afraid to tell no because what happens if I'm homeless what happens if his anger issues resurface cuz he told me he used to have them the very last thing I want to say is not only is my boyfriend not allowed and he knows he's not allowed over at the apartment and yes it bugs the s*** out of him but this guy's been in the friend Circle for really long time, like 10 years it wouldn't do any good especially with my reputation to tell them and I have tried and they told me what you should move so my boyfriend's not allowed at my house and he's not allowed to stay over one of the last things that happened when he was over the only time I've invited him over a week before the day in question I had it approved I would spend some time in the living room alone cuz he told me that was an option before and I am not taking him up on the offer for 3 months which I explained it would be with my partner He agreed and then the partner gets there and he doesn't want to leave he says he can just play on the computer that he won't be a problem but it's within sight of us on the couch and I am not interested in a third wheel I just want some alone time with my partner and I'm not big on PDA but I wanted to kiss my partner I wanted to hold their hand I wanted to be able to enjoy my time with them as we watched a movie and enjoy a home-cooked meal because I was showing my Hibachi skills it gets extremely pissed off goes up to his room and tells us to alert him when the movie is over excuse me he didn't say that until after he came back downstairs he said to let him know in about an hour i tell him he can set a timer but that I wasn't sure how long the movie was and he could just come down when it was done he didn't respond to me at all when I said this he didn't eat his food either he let it sit there and get cold and then ended up critiquing it and throwing it away because he said he wanted to eat with us and I was like okay like I gave him food because I was being helpful and I made steak and shrimp which was expensive for me but I did it anyway he didn't want to take his food with him he didn't want to do anything he just went upstairs and was very upset he actually came down to walk around and complain for a few minutes and then went back upstairs and it was really awkward he ended up coming down after the movie can get on a computer and text message how disrespectful it was that I didn't alert him the Moment the movie was over and that he couldn't believe that I would disrespect him so much in our shared apartment which he had regularly gotten upset with me for calling my apartment when I was discussing something he's like it's my apartment too you can't call it your apartment and it's like okay it's understood that it's your apartment I can call it my apartment without it being a hassle but it doesn't even feel like my apartment I store my stuff and feel like a prisoner because he monitors my every movement I digress I got upset and he was like well if you are not going to invite me to sit on the couch next to you guys out loud and seeing this here in the text (it is all in text. it was extremely dramatic cuz he always speaks so ..) then I would not even budge to sit near you( like most of the time he speaks kind of like Shakespearean language but if you don't know what half the words mean like he just uses big words to sound important, as what one of my other friends has quoted) one of my friends wwho was in a house with, them w other high-risk individuals, where the AC was broken and it was 90° refused to come sit in the AC at my house until they realized that my housemate was out of town because they didn't want to deal with him they said they'd rather had experienced heat stroke so I guess this is the answer to describe this person in the stress that I've been under in the stress that I had to endure when I get done with this I actually quit typing and did voice to text and I'm trying my best to make sure it is good I apologize if there are severe typos it gets so stressful to talk about but I really need someone anyone to hear that I'm saying this is happening I don't know where to go from here and what to do and I want to move but I'm scared to make a big deal if I try and I'm going to I'm going to move as soon as I find an apartment my family said they will help me move and if you dare say anything that they will flip out but right now I just want to feel heard since I can't feel comfortable and because I just got off work I have to go home going to argue with me again after the fact that I want him to respect my stuff and that I'm no longer being flowery and sugar coating my words and the fact that I'm being cut and short and demanding respect instead of asking for it because I want to ask for basic decency to me and my stuff but it's still going to have to deal with it when I get home If I'm nice I'm probably going to go to my room and lock the door and ignore him because I'm tired and I don't have the social spoons to deal with him when it's literally going nowhere because he thinks he's right and I have nothing else to say or think and I hope this is received well nothing else honestly it's got me so anxious and upset that I'm tearing up I can clear up typos and parts that won't be understood and I'd love to answer questions if you really have them but I just want to be heard I just want to be validated I just want to be comfortable I want to ease my anxiety because I work so hard I'm the typical, comically so, Capricorn. I'm hard-working and I only find Escape in work I would like to see some fruits of my labor and relax in my bed which is a gift by the way, because my last bed was destroyed with the water damage from them putting out the fire because the fun part is my apartment that burned down with on the bottom floor which means it got the fire he got the rubble and it got the water which the joke is because I am a witchcraft practitioner that it was the magic that kept most of it from getting completely damaged by fire it was mostly smoke and so so so much water so many things got ruined even when putting up the flowers to decorate my room I was tempted not to finish because I was afraid once it felt like home they would burn again it would all be gone I made it feel like home and then all this super extra weirdness started as we were working on stuff to the point where there was a moment where he'd ask for a kiss and I'm like do you have to and he's like please like I really want one and I'm like I guess a small one on the cheek if at all the other time when he refused to leave my room and let me go to sleep when I work at 4am because I wouldn't let him give me a kiss and I said no I don't want you to kiss me I don't want you to touch me and he kissed me on the forehead and ran away because he can reach cuz he's f****** gigantic he's so tall My bf is too but like damn you want to see more deets I have made vids talking but it because it's soooooo stressful. I want to scream. I want to know how to feel comfortable or valid I am constantly asking for being valid constantly ask to be Justified and I'm so sure that I am but I'm also so scared
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